Shann and I have an elegant conversation every evening. We sit together looking out a window or sitting on a porch. We hold hands and start with gratitude for each other. One of the conversations I often initiate with Shann concerns the wonder of belief in God. Why do some people wrestle so deeply with faith? We often discuss how faith is so interwoven with fidelity. How many people throughout the ages lose fidelity with their beloved other which leads to total loss of faith in themselves or in their children? Fidelity shares the same root as faith, it means to be faithful. Faith leads to faithfulness. Conversely loss of faithfulness becomes a loss of faith. Unfaithfulness is disloyalty to love, to the sanctity of real friendship. Perhaps many children lose their faith as they see the incongruity between a parent’s apparent devotion to God and their infidelity or dishonesty in the marriage. 

Growing up I could see a direct connection between my Dad’s love for God and his love for Mom. When their love was in turbulence, Dad was too busy, too distant from his time with God. Dad never struggled with faith as a box to check or an act to perform. For him, faith was total love and adoration of God, total intimacy with Jesus. When Dad experienced total adoration of God, he had the adoration of Mom. This fidelity was obvious to me. 

Shann witnessed this with his family. Infidelity and lack of faith were hand in glove. Infidelity is not just lack of fidelity regarding physical and moral purity, but a form of infidelity is also becoming critical and unloving to the beloved other. Shann and I consider our relationship. One of the greatest ways we can pass our transformational faith and love for Christ to our children is by committing to the fidelity of our marriage. As spectacular and amazing as Shann is, I am incapable of loving him faithfully without total surrender to love and faith in God. This overflow of God’s love in me, helps me to see Shann with compassion, to fall more in love with him each day. I become his friend, not his critic. I am his companion, not his judge. I watch for the root of bitterness. I ask God to help me work on my faults rather than worrying if Shann is working on his. As my heart overflows with love for God, it can’t help but overflow with love and gratitude for Shann. 

I bless Mom and Dad for loving God and each other and by doing so, passing down a faith I can admire, a faith that leads to faithfulness. 

“Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and people.” 

– Proverbs 3:3-4 

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