Grief is tough. My Dad tried to overcome his grief for the few years after his mom’s death, but many situations triggered his pain and anger. Any mention of God would cause Dad to react; he would leave the room if someone said a prayer. He couldn’t cry. When a beloved friend died, he found he had no tears to express his sorrow. He was known as stone face.  

My Dad experienced freedom when he confronted his enemy- when he acknowledged he was bitter and angry at God. 

Once Dad realized he hated God and blamed God for allowing his mom to die, he could express his grief. To my Dad’s surprise, as he brought out his feelings in a healthy way, his pain began to dissipate slowly. He noticed he felt stronger, more graceful, and less afraid. His grief could be felt without it overwhelming him. He could stop using rage as a tool to solve his pain. He could stop shutting down his tears. Victor Hugo wrote, “Dry eyes are the sign of a dead soul.” 

I am thankful God helped Dad to have a soul that is alive.

I don’t like pain. I often don’t want to learn what it must teach me, I just want the pain to stop. Stone doesn’t feel, but neither does it live. Unforgiveness, bitterness, and fear of pain are all things that try to make my heart impervious to love. Love costs, and love hurts. God, please give me the courage to face grief and loss in order to learn what You must teach me.

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you, I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” – Ezekiel 36:26

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