I have been finding photos of my dad when he is my age. He looks so young and healthy! I can hear him counseling me as I begin to feel myself getting uptight. He would ask me to notice what I consistently do every day, what are my habits? Habit comes from the word “to dwell or reside in.” I look at my home. I know that if I read or study on a cozy comfortable couch, I can guarantee I will fall asleep. I know that if I eat lots of sugar every day, I will reap a different outcome than eating veggies every day.   

Dad encouraged me to arrange my home to be based on action not motion. What does love in relationships look like? Love in action is different from love in motion. The motion of love is living in the same space, going through the daily tasks of life together. Love in action looks like a kind tone of voice, or a willingness to get off the couch and help look for a lost object with a good attitude. Love in action is the discipline to listen with interest and care, putting down the phone. It’s creating a home based on loving habits of meaningful connection. 

I think about the habits I want for my home. Do I want to work all hours of the day, or should I stop and take time to be present with my daughters? Do I want to be distracted by nagging thoughts, or do I want to laugh and have fun with my husband? Do I want to “doom scroll” on the phone, or do I want to read a short story or play a game as a family? 

Dad encouraged me to arrange my home environment to promote the habits I wanted for our family life and eliminate the habits we don’t want. Thanks Dad, for your commitment to building a “love in action” home. 

Let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.  – 1 John 3:18 

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