I loved asking Dad his thoughts about parenting and coaching- both are similar. An authoritarian coach or parent who leads with fear and intimidation creates difficult home and team dynamics. In this leadership style, the law is highest, there is great value placed on obedience, and rules are king. 

A permissive parent or coach creates a space where happiness is valued the highest, confrontation is avoided, and there are no rules.

A great coach and parent have rules, but the rules are always secondary to deepest love. When we love our kids as parents or coaches, we work to create enough structure for safety and wisdom and enough freedom to permit creativity, positive autonomy, and closer connection. 

Dad believed parents and coaches often leaned too far in one direction. The work of each parent and coach was to move closer to balance and health. Each system needs excellence in both areas: rules and freedom. 

I think this is a good metaphor for developing a solid spiritual faith. Too much focus on rules kills the spirit, whereas too much freedom without spiritual discernment equates to a shallow faith. 

Thanks, Dad, for making wisdom accessible and meaningfully relatable. 

“Study to show yourself approved to God, a workman who need not be ashamed, rightly dividing the Word of Truth.” – 2 Timothy 2:15

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