Words of Hope: Systemic Trouble 

I was becoming high and mighty about fathers and their need to change when my husband Shann reminded me that a critical, hateful woman will always evoke or attract men who are absent, distant, violent, oppressive, and lost.  

If you find a child acting out against life, themselves, their siblings, or God, failing to succeed and follow through, you will find a father who is emotionally distant and morally vacuous. If you find an emotionally distant, defensive, and morally meaningless father you will often find a critical, self-righteous, cold, self-pitying, and withholding woman. 

Dysfunction never appears in isolation but breeds in a network of disease and relational disunity. If you see a troubled child, you can typically find a troubled marriage.  

When you see people in a system that are deeply troubled, you can know for certain the system is also deeply troubled.  

Who’s fault is it? Each person that does not move toward a purposeful, humble, and brokenhearted approach to gaining greater love and care in their own life in order to give it to others. Along that path, mentors are invaluable! Men and women who have gone before us to lead the way!  

All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. – 1 Peter 5:5