LOVE – BELONGING – SUCCESS

The three most important human and animals psychological and spiritual needs.

Six elegant questions. (An elegant question differs from a fact question.)

  1. Who loves you?
  2. Who do you love?
  3. Who do you belong to?
  4. Who belongs to you?
  5. What do you do with success?
  6. Who in your life thinks you are a success?

These six elegant questions form the foundation for self-existential diagnosis.

“Self-existential diagnosis is like taking your eyes out of your head and watching yourself.” – F. Crowell

Regrettably far too many people are unwilling to take an honest diagnosis of themselves.

Physically we know oxygen is a vital need. The brain can’t go less than two minutes without it.

Water is the second vital need. After 3 days the body shuts down without it. We need water.

Food is a third vital need. The body can go much longer without food. Friends I know have fasted 40 days.  

I like to think in metaphors.

Oxygen is like love. We can’t live without oxygen or love.

Water is like belonging. We live poorly without belonging. We were not created to be alone.

Food is like success. We need to be successful in our own eyes and also in at least a few other’s eyes.

My favorite dog was named Challenger, a big black lab who weighed 133 pounds. One day I left home on a motorcycle with Challenger chasing behind me. He stayed with me for about the length of a football field. My speedometer read 33mph.

One day Challenger nipped a man who walked up behind me as I was burning leaves.

We had Challenger evaluated to determine if he was safe. The expert tested Challenger.

After his diagnosis he told Susie and me this startling news,  “Fred, you are Challenger’s problem. You have a juvenile delinquent on your hands because you are not giving love, not making him feel like he belongs, and do not give him enough praise so that he feels successful.”

After 8 training sessions with this canine expert, Challenger became a remarkable companion. Let me make it clear. The canine expert trained me to train Challenger.   

These six elegant questions form the way I coach basketball, conduct EQ business seminars, and manage my life.

It works, no wonder it is the crystal clear wisdom found in the Holy Book.

For a touch of inspiration read Philippians’s 2:11 and 4:4-9

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