I have been invited to speak on several podcasts lately, and the hosts are curious about my father and the practice of forgiveness in our home. My dad was a remarkable father and my mom is a remarkable mother precisely because they were so remarkable at forgiveness.   

Resolving our differences and healing the ways we unintentionally harmed each other made for a very loving home. Mom, Dad, and I did not have locked rooms of resentment or anger but a full hearted deeply loving friendship. Dad had this with most people in his life. It was rare if Dad didn’t live with abundant joy for someone else.  

What made this gift so unique was his utter lack of defensiveness. I could say, “Dad, you did this wrong.” Sometimes he would be mad in the moment but 99% of the time with me, he was humble, willing to ask forgiveness and take responsibility.  

I still struggle in my life with being quick to ask forgiveness of Shann and the girls. I want to fight more than receive. I want to explain more than listen. It’s good to sit with the example of my dad. I picture his easy grace and expansive open heart. I admired him greatly for this.  

Why am I resisting when I adore love? I want love to win. I am a love devotee. This requires me to decide what is the most loving choice? The most loving from the lens of those I love — their point of view rather than mine. 

This surrender is how I want to live.  

“Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth, love one another deeply from the heart.” – 1 Peter 1:22 

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