My dad understood the importance of initiative. In Latin, initiative means to take the lead. We talked about initiative often. For example, Dad believed car use without car care and maintenance was a recipe for disappointment and frustration. He believed using the car meant a full gas tank upon return. He believed this showed love and the initiative needed to use the car.

In the classroom, Dad wanted us to take initiative as students, not just for the grades but for the quality of our minds. He wanted us to be life learners, not just going through the motions as students.

Dad was a terrible carpenter, plumber, and fix-it person in general, but he was an incredible builder of lives and dreams. He taught us that building something amazing, whether it is a career, a marriage, a family, a prayer time with God begins with what we can imagine and expect of ourselves. It requires us to take initiative.

What are a few beautiful life dreams for your life? Dad would advise that you outline inner qualities needed to achieve these goals. If you want to be a devoted spouse, he would ask that you visualize and write out the virtues and character qualities of a devoted spouse. Dad emphasized not to focus on behavior but instead dedicate energy to evaluating mindset. Don’t focus on the behavior of a devoted spouse but on the mindset and interior virtues of a loving spouse. How often does someone appear to be devoted through their actions and then later we are shocked and surprised by his or her interior deception.  Life is lived in the mindset and the behaviors follow.  If the life goal is a loving home, then the mindset needs to be a life of listening, gratitude, service to others—this will lead to loving and truthful behaviors.

Dad didn’t want us to say we there thankful for using the car, he wanted us to have the mindset of what quality car care required. Dad didn’t want us to say we were “A” students, he wanted us to have the internal virtues and discipline of “A” students. Dad didn’t want us to attend church while nursing a complaining spirit, he wanted us to be fully devoted, from the heart.

Here are a few questions to wrestle with:

• Where do I need more initiative in my life?
• When does initiative become ambition?
• How does focus on behavior sometimes blind us to the underlying internal narrative?

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.   – Ephesians 5:8-13

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