Dad worked on relationships. Scott Peck, who wrote a bestselling book, “The Road Less Travelled,” discussed how laziness, in his opinion, is the biggest obstacle to love. I see that in my life. I want to yell to get everyone in the car instead of walking upstairs and asking with kindness. I want to veg out on my phone instead of having a meaningful conversation. I want to vent about someone instead of dealing with the problem directly. All these actions are laziness. 

Dad was not relationally lazy. He put energy, joy, time, attention, listening, and gratitude into his relationships. Often, he would wake up and call just to leave messages on people’s phones to wish them a beautiful day. Each message was directly loving to each person he called. How was he able to call people and be unique, creative, and personal to each person? This required work. 

When I speak to groups, I often discuss relational health. Many people can remember very personal words said to them as criticism. Why is criticism so easily personal? But when they go to remember an encouraging word or compliment, it becomes hazy. Many people compliment in general. Dad worked to make his messages personal, meaningful, and loving to each person.  

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” 

• I John 3:16

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