FRIDAYS WITH FRED: THE IMPOSTER WITHIN
Sooner or later in life, we discover we are not who we think we are! We discover there is a difference between who we are and who we want to be. As many as 70% of people experience this at some time in their lives. It can become a self-perpetuating cycle. Its name is The Imposter Syndrome.
This phenomenon is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts his skills and talents. Also, an individual may have a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud and not as competent as perceived by others.
Here are a few statements expressed to me, either as a coach or a counselor.
- “Coach, I have been thinking I am an imposter. Really, I am not that good of a player.” Happens with athletes. The Reality Gap Crisis.
- “Fred, my family life is not what I dreamed I would experience.” Happens with a husband or wife. The Family Gap Crisis.
- “Fred, now that I am in my mid-40’s, and after all these years, my occupation is not as fulfilling as I thought.” Happens with most men. The Occupational Gap Crisis.
Are there solutions? Of course, there are! However, most solutions have an IF/THEN clause, better known as the universe’s Cause and Effect Law.
Therefore, there is a price to be paid for solutions. Sorry, no free lunch program here. You can have a doubt, but it does not need to control your actions. Here are a couple more simple, recommended insights.
- Hold yourself kindly, and appreciate the reality around the gap.
- Find the hidden treasure inside the gap — there will be one!
If you want more specifics in dealing with one or all of these crises, please email me, firstname.lastname@example.org. Now, make this Friday a Freddy Frog Good Day!