Humility & Pride
Articles mainly about humility, pride, ego, teachability.
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Love Abundant
God is always surprising us. He is full of compassion and deepest love. How easy it is to ascribe harshness to God. Why is this?
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Completely
I have been meditating again on what made Dad such a wonderful father. He was a dear father because he knew how to love well. Part of the deepest aspect of love is the gift of friendship.
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Forgiven and Forgiving
Look at this beautiful interaction Jesus has with both a Pharisee and a woman in the Book of Luke.
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Honest Guilt
My dad was an incredible father precisely because he created a home where we could point out ways he was not a great father, and he would ask forgiveness and change.
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Winning the Battle
I have been invited to speak on several podcasts lately, and the hosts are curious about my father and the practice of forgiveness in our home.
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Servant Leadership
Leading up to Easter, our church participated in a foot washing service in remembrance of Jesus washing the feet of His disciples.
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How to be Uncommon
At a group I attended, a woman shared her story of hatred toward her stepfather. She said he verbally and emotionally abused her and made her teen years miserable.
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In Celebration of Marrying Young
Shann and I will be married for thirty-five years this June. A young man asked us if we were glad we married young in light of so many people feeling they made mistakes by marrying too soon.
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MENTORS – A Worthy Coach
“A worthy mentor is one of the most valuable people leaders, parents, coaches, and peoples of all professions can have in navigating through life.” – Jennifer Crowell Ferch The two vital qualifications of a mentor are one who…
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A New Legacy
What is a good father? What attributes would you list? A good listener, compassionate, thoughtful? Dad thought often about the qualities of a good father and was intentional about wanting to be a good father.
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Fulfillment
Our family line had a burning desire to be remarkable. I know my dad wrestled with this internal drive. He continuously worked to move his sense of self-worth away from achievement and into being.
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Collecting the Pieces
I love art museums. They are one of my favorite places on the planet. I can spend hours there. I love the stories behind the works of art just as well.
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Pondering Schism
I find myself reflecting on a troubling trend emerging within church communities. This issue revolves around the contrasting doctrinal narratives concerning God’s love and His wrath.
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Quintiles of Life
I am currently in a Bible study that is reflecting on what God is doing in our journey on earth.
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Marian Point of View
I am struck by the obedience and willingness of Mary to become the mother of Jesus. Her song of gratitude to God for this blessing stuns me.
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A Pattern of Great Parenting
Dad and I often discussed healthy relationships, especially between a father and sons or daughters. I don’t think many parents talk this way with their children.
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Prayer as Resistance
One of the practices of contemplative prayer is eliminating prayer as performance. I consider how much poor religion gravitates toward perfection, judgment, us and them, pageantry, and power.
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Systemic Trouble
I was becoming high and mighty about fathers and their need to change when my husband Shann reminded me that a critical, hateful woman will always evoke or attract men who are absent, distant, violent, oppressive, and lost.…
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The Path of Destruction When We Don’t Listen
I have been reading Proverbs recently. Dad loved this book of the Bible, and we talked about it often. He and I both struggle with listening.
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Reclamation Instead of Regret
I have been considering how regret is a stronger emotion than gratitude. Regret can overrun our desire for gratitude. It can invade our thoughts and interrupt our thankfulness.
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Living and Active
Da d and I would discuss why Bible classes in Christian schools and colleges were often the worst classes, boring, uninspired, didactic, and lacking. I think about this in my own life.
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Judgmental Hiding
Sometimes I imagine Dad riding next to me in the car. We might pray together, or I will ask him a question. I loved to get his opinion on dysfunction.
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One God
Sometimes we think we are God. We act like we alone know what He wants and others need to listen to us.
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Handling Enemies
I read a wild verse that I hadn’t noticed before. It says, “Do not rejoice and gloat when your enemy falls, And do not let your heart be glad [in self-righteousness] when he stumbles, Or the LORD will…
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Good News
Dad and I loved the story of Joseph. It is such a fascinating consideration for me. Joseph, annoying, openly, and shamelessly favored.
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The Power of Weakness
Dad loved scripture. Memorization was a big part of our lives together. We would drive and pray scripture aloud. For example, we memorized 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.
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Where There is Strife There is Pride
One meditation I have been speaking in my mind and heart is from Proverbs 13:10, “Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” Strife means to contend for superiority, quarrel…
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Struggling to Ask Forgiveness
A friend of ours is doing his dissertation on the phenomenon of forgiveness asking. He is researching the experience of asking forgiveness of family, friends, and colleagues. He asked me about my experience.
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Life Changers
My dad loved people, and he built beautiful friendships. One person he loved is a man named Rachi Wortham. We just did a short video story about his life.
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Will You Forgive Me?
My dad loved the concept of forgiveness. He grew up in an abusive home with a father he did not admire and in fact deeply hated.
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Forgiveness Revolution
At the conference Shann and I spoke at, we invited people to practice asking forgiveness. I role played with a woman who had been a Princeton professor for many years. Her eyes were incredibly empathetic.
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Remember Me
I read an evocative post about the thief hanging on the cross. He did not get baptized. He didn’t do anything most churches classify as salvation.
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Tgbtg
Dad loved acronyms. He had a million different ones he used often. My newest favorite is from my brother Jay. He texted a response TGBTG which stands for To God Be The Glory.
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Dark Ages
I just finished a historical book on Florence. After reading it, I felt compelled to write an unfavorable review. I usually never write unfavorable reviews because I like to give others the benefit of the doubt.
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The Lord
I continue my meditation of the first verse in Psalm 34. The beginning of the verse says, “I will bless the Lord at all times.” I consider the word “the” and how important this small word is in…
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Extremes
My husband Shann and I took a class together when he was getting his PhD in clinical psychology. It was a religion class taught at the university.
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Fervor
I listened to a sermon recently on Galatians. The pastor had worked himself up into a zealous fervor decrying the current times. Then he addressed sins, especially of the culture he was desperately trying to fight against.
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Selfish Ambition Disguised as Evangelism
I watched a video of a woman sitting down with two college students. Her intent was to share the gospel. They recorded their conversation.
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Basketball Healers
Dad was a basketball healer. He knew how to bring repair and healing to teams who were divided or despairing. Not many people describe someone as a basketball healer.
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Love in Public
I heard a beautiful quote that justice is love in public. What does loving look like? How much does my desire for love become thwarted by my own dysfunction and aspire for control?
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Modern Day Pilgrim’s Progress
If you read my Dad’s Words of Hope you will see how much he cared for those going through depression or cancer.
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Ambition
I have been wrestling with the word ambition. The definition of it makes it more complex. In some definitions it says ambition means “aspiration, intention, goal and aim.” These are worthy words.
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Culture Wars
I have frustration at the hypocrisy and moralism of certain forms of Christianity in America’s extreme right. Men measuring the skirts of young girls and calling these young women sinners is appalling.
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Fiery Furnace
My youngest child Bella and I only have a few months left together before she launches off to college and a brand-new life. We do a devotional together each day.
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Truth or Hypocrisy Awakened
I recently watched a movie about a man who demands a perfect world to the point he abuses others to achieve it. Perfection is so seductive.
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What Goes Around Comes Around
In C.S. Lewis’s Reflections on the Psalms he addresses a topic I have struggled with. What do we do with the Psalms that pray down wrath on enemies?
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God Exists
We have a quote on our fridge by one of the best poets in the world, Li Young Li, who says, “I don’t have faith that God exists, since I experience God enough to know that God exists…
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Accused and Accuser
Jesus always touches me. I am reading about His interaction with the Pharisees and the woman caught in adultery. He takes a woman who had done wrong. She was morally guilty, and He showed her forgiveness.
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Culture Changer
Dad was a culture changer. He envisioned a home with a true loving, present father who asked forgiveness of his children and encouraged dialogue even if there was disagreement. Not many homes have this.
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A More Transformative Perspective
In the last two Words of Hope, I have been sharing about a presentation Shann and I heard during our prayer retreat.
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Counsel of Equals
Dad and I had an important mentor who had helped with the Challenger Space Shuttle disaster as a consultant in the aftermath of the tragedy.
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Self-Responsible Leadership
Dad loved parenting, and he was a fantastic Dad. He and Mom taught Shann and me so much about the daily habits of being a meaningful parent.
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Dogging Dogmatism Part 1
Dad had an expansive faith. He rooted his faith in both firm convictions and deepest wonder and awe. One of his good friends has strong opinions about faith, so absolute and dogmatic.
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Bitterness Considered
I was rereading Dad’s Words of Hope on anxiety he wrote on April 21, 2021. He discusses lessons learned from nurse Laurie who served with Hospice for many years.
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Stiff Necks
Dad and I liked to take a sermon or scripture and understand it as well as we could.
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Condemning the Guiltless
I love listening to the Pray as You Go app. The other day one of the scriptures asked us to ponder the story of Jesus talking with the Pharisees.
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Admirable Faith
My dear friend Josh met Dad in Hawaii. Josh brought his daughter to camp and spent the days watching the coaches and observing. He had drifted away from God, his family, and his life purpose.
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The First to Apologize is the Bravest
The ancient parable entitled “ The Wager” by some is an old tale of selfishness and refusal to change with counterparts of the same theme told worldwide. It reveals our demand to be correct.
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Loving what the Beloved Loves
Shann loves loud music. He likes to feel the sound and hear the music throughout his entire body. I don’t love loud music. It is a trigger of anxious feelings in me. Dad hated loud music.
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Always
I cannot express how grateful I am that my Dad was a student of loving well. He made it his life mission to love God and love people.
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The Choice
Getting ready for the Celebration of Life was difficult and joyful. As our family gathered together to sing, we could feel the tensions and emotions rising.
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Revelation
I read a statement, “Zealous judgment closes us off from revelation.” This statement would have immediately caused me to pick up the phone and call my Dad.
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Moralism or Morality
I am reading about the form versus the formless. Dad and I discussed this often. He had a big journey in his life toward understanding this concept.
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Thy Will Be Done
Dad loved Easter and Good Friday. Dad loved the stations of the cross and would meditate at each spot. He especially loved the stations of the cross at the Grotto in Portland.
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March Madness
Dad and I liked to play solitary card games while racing against each other. Our favorite was kings in the corner. These games are addictive—just one more game.
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Prayer
My Dad and I loved to pray together, and I learned so much about prayer from him. I have been on a journey to understand prayer myself and find I am more in love with prayer each year.…
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Next Steps
The news of Ukraine and Russia is everywhere, with images of war, suffering, and trauma. Just watching it is unsettling to a high degree. It can overwhelm.
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Marriage Experts
My parents were married for 58 years, and they deeply admired and loved each other. They worked hard to root out bitterness, detachment, infidelity, and dislike.
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Mumbai
Mumbai is a city of 28 million people. There were slums and poverty everywhere we went. People live in tin slabs with tar paper roofs and tarps on the hardened mud floors.
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Magnificat
Dad and I loved to talk about Mary, the mother of Jesus. When we were in the Philippines, Dad was adored everywhere he went. He and Shann were on local television. Dad was like a rock star.
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Master Teacher
Dad was a maverick and exceptional teacher. He grasped ways to make concepts understandable way before the science of pedagogy confirmed his teaching methods.
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True Self vs. False Self
One of my daily devotionals gives short segments from the writings of Henri Nouwen, a beautiful Christian author. He wrote many moving books, including Return of the Prodigal .
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Oyster Mouth
Dad and I both struggle with our mouths sometimes. Dad said things he should not say. I would get so frustrated with him when he would do this.
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Love must be Sincere
Dad believed fully what Mother Teresa said, “Christ’s love is always stronger than evil in the world… this kind of love begins at home.
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Relationship Over Rules
Dad disliked rules over relationships. In our home, he cared more that there was love in our hearts for God than if we went to church or read the Bible.
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Perfectly Teachable
After watching thousands of athletes at NBC Camps, Dad said the two most dangerous emotions which hurt any athlete are arrogance and fear. Those emotions are the opposite of humility.
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Worthy of Imitation
My good friend was in town on a recruiting trip, and he stayed with Shann and me. He loved Dad and considered Dad in many ways a second father.
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The Sin of Criticism
Last December, Dad and I read sections of “The Violence Within” by Paul Tournier aloud to each other. Tournier believed that criticism was a form of violence that burdened the relationship.
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Forgiveness as a Healing Force
Dad loved servant leadership. One beautiful definition Dad would have loved from Dr.
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Not by Might
When I was a young girl in Birmingham, Alabama, mustard became available for purchase in a new plastic bottle.
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Ego, Pride, Humility
Recently my brother Larry relayed Giannis Antetokounmpo’s comments to me. Giannis is the shooting guard for the Milwaukee Bucks that won the 2021 NBA championship.
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Choosing Great Friends
Pictured above is Jim Harrick – John Wooden – Fred Crowell. Coach Jim Harrick is one of the finest friends any person could ever have in a lifetime.
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Wisdom’s Origin
Wisdom is the design of the one and only true Creator. Without the existence of God, there is no wisdom. There are only opinions, people’s viewpoints.
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Knowing I Am Not Wise
Wisdom begins knowing I am NOT wise . There is a circular presupposition: To be wise is to know; if you don’t know, you can’t understand; if you don’t understand, you cannot be wise.
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First and Lasts
Briefly, why do we idolize being first and disfavor being last ? Often last trumps first . Here are some real-life examples depicting in the end first does not matter.
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Probe for Wise Counsel
Solomon has given us this advantageous bit of wisdom in Proverbs 11:14, “Where there is no advice, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety (or security).” Wow!
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Hard Lessons to Learn from Former Leaders
In his day, Job was a leader; in fact, a terrific leader. He was one many people sought counsel from until his own world crashed on him.
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The Two Way Mirror
Mirror Mirror in my hand who has a pure clean glass that can show reflection in two directions; first at me; second to my world set before me.
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Examination of the Heart
The Psalmist said, “The Lord knows everything about us.” Imagine being able to say, “You know everything about me, even before I say it, and exclaim, such knowledge is too wonderful!
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No Crucifixion, No Resurrection
No pain no gain No sorrow no joy No work no pay No crooked line no straight line No hate no love No late no on time No defeat no victory The Scriptures say.
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Walk It, Don’t Talk It
“If you know it and you don’t do it, you don’t know it.” – Mike Nilson The Apostle James short book on walking your talk reminds me of a college basketball game.
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Truth Truism
Tell me, promotes learning – I know, stops learning. The other day at the Oncology clinic several of us were in a conversation.
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Position Doesn’t Determine Destiny
When position is more important than destiny the focus needs to be reversed. Research reveals focusing on destiny increases performance and health both individually and within a community. Position focus means: I am the father. Obey me.
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Five Life Giving Syllables
1. Will 2. You 3. For 4. Give 5. Me 75 years of life experience confirm to me that “will you forgive me” are the four most difficult words for people to say to those that have done…
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Shortcut to Increase
Years ago when I was in full-time marriage, family, and personal counseling I had a teenage client who was very defiant towards her parents.
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To Compare Is to Despair
“If you want to feel inferior, look at someone above you. If you want to feel superior, look at someone beneath you.” – Walt King Susie’s dad was a wise man.
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Contentment Leads to Life
It seems comparison has crept into every area of our lives prompted by social media and constant media ads. It can reveal a dissatisfaction and a disillusion. It can divide and destroy.
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SEARCH ME – Part 2
Reality Truth : If you accept the message, you will value the messenger; whereas if you reject the message, you will reject the messenger.
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SEARCH ME – Part 1
When you seek personal excellence, self-scrutiny is welcomed, not rejected. Is the truth, not a lie, really your goal? Search Me!
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Time to Give Up
Faith Hill joins Oprah in singing, I SURRENDER ALL . Faith can flat out sing! Oprah not so good. With tears of joy, Oprah tells her story of auditioning for the movie, The Color Purple.
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Humility Clothing
On a recent airline flight to Denver, Colorado, I had the opportunity to be a “typical” passenger.
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Than You Fred
Thank you, Fred. What an amazing compliment from you and Susie. I feel like it has taken a long time to learn not to feel like I have to force knowledge and strength.
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Good Brag Bad Brag
So vividly the memory of a bad brag rests in my memory bank. It was my 9th-grade year; basketball was the brag.
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Refresh to Be Refreshed
A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed. – Proverbs 11:25 Racketball, handball, and squash initially are very difficult games to play until you learn a critical skill.
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Superheroes – Every Day Heroes
If you don’t take time to watch/listen to Charlie’s story this is a missed opportunity! Everybody needs an everyday hero . No one needs a superstar hero.
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What’s in a name?
Consider words like power, vision, confidence, courage, fearlessness, focus, purpose, destiny. We feel strengthened with words like these. Conversely, words can promote negativity as well and often these labels can impact behavior for a lifetime.
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One Is None; Two Is Done
The value of teamwork; the skill to delegate. A motto among USA special forces elite team is, “One is none and two is done.” This reminded me of Jesus sending his disciples out in two’s.
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Who Is Greatest?
2000 years ago they asked Jesus, “Who is the greatest?” Seems to me humans are obsessed with knowing the greatest. Ali said he was the greatest boxer of the day; now Meriweather lays claim.
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Stories – Three Principles
The Pain Principle. The David Principle. The Mephibosheth Principle. The Biblical story of two men, David and Mephibosheth, which depicts the pain principle so well; can be found in both Hollywood and life stories.
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TIME TO BRAG – Time to be quiet
Until you become a grandparent you cannot understand the urge to brag to the point of ad nauseum about your grand children. No wonder we call them Grand .
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Put Away Your Sword
A lesson from Matthew 26 Imitation is the FATHER OF LEARNING At a crucial moment, when Jesus was being arrested, he told Peter to put away his sword. Sports camps can be challenging businesses. Competition is tough.
