Aging & Legacy
Articles mainly about growing older, life stages, health, leaving a legacy, mortality.
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Singing Through the Sorrow
When I was young, my dad loved a song which began, “How can I say thanks for the things you have done for me, things so undeserved yet you proved to show your love for me.
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Navigating Losses
One of my mentors, Henri Nouwen writes about life as you age toward death, “Your whole life is filled with losses, endless losses. And every time there are losses, there are choices to be made.
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True Desire
What is your true desire? Can you peel back the reasons for the way you want to live?
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Cheering On
Our daughter Ariana is on the National Tour of The Sound of Music . What joy for our family!
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My Last
I am in my 35th year of marriage. It is a lovely and loving time. We survived the first year of empty nesting after 27 years of children in the home. Now the house is very silent.
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A New Legacy
What is a good father? What attributes would you list? A good listener, compassionate, thoughtful? Dad thought often about the qualities of a good father and was intentional about wanting to be a good father.
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Quintiles of Life
I am currently in a Bible study that is reflecting on what God is doing in our journey on earth.
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Terminal Anxiety
The apostle Paul encouraged us not to be anxious about anything. Unfortunately, too few people take his admonition seriously or take the time to learn the skill mastery to defeat this common enemy.
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A Sacred Moment
I opened my office drawer for a notecard and found the one I selected was already written on in my dad’s handwriting. It’s a card with a beautiful tree on the front.
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A Time to Mourn
I am back writing Words of Hope for the remainder of the year. I took a lengthy break for several reasons. Mostly because I was sad. Grief is complex that way.
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Metanoia
I love the word metanoia. It’s not necessarily a pretty word but the meaning is beautiful to me. It means a change in thinking and behaving resulting from penitence or spiritual conversion with a future orientation.
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We Croak
One of our family friends has an app that’s called “We Croak.” Seven times during the day, a small alarm goes off and a quote pops up as a reminder on how to live.
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Dad’s Last Podcast
I received a beautiful letter from William May who told me stories about his appreciation for my dad. He shared with me a podcast I didn’t know Dad was part of.
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Enough
I have been reading my dad’s Words of Hope messages lately. I was surprised to find one in April of 2021 where my dad wrote, “My promise for 2021 is just to live in the reality that enough…
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Tomorrow!
I am reading a historical novel about Quebec set in 1697. The author, one of my favorites, did extensive research for this book.
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Modern Day Pilgrim’s Progress
If you read my Dad’s Words of Hope you will see how much he cared for those going through depression or cancer.
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On Writing Words of Hope
A very sweet friend took me to lunch. She has been so kind in sending encouragement after a Words of Hope message she resonated with. As we met for lunch, she asked me about the writing process.
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Eternal Joy
I recently visited Oklahoma to support my daughter Ari who was playing Margo in Bright Star the musical. While I was there, I sat in a chair my dad had sat in five years earlier.
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Relational Joy
I read recently that researchers have discovered a connection between relational joy in your fifties and wellbeing and flourishing health in your eighties.
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Joan of Arc Hope
I find Dad’s title, “Words of Hope,” so crucial during difficult times. I say difficult times because I feel a deep battle raging in the world — one between joy and despair, community and division, and peace and…
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Bitterness Considered
I was rereading Dad’s Words of Hope on anxiety he wrote on April 21, 2021. He discusses lessons learned from nurse Laurie who served with Hospice for many years.
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The Wisdom of Sorrow
I recently went to a memorial, and one of the main verses was Ecclesiastes 7:2. I took time to look at this verse in various translations.
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Love Without Return
My Dad valued people from all walks of life. He thanked and honored those many would overlook. He believed in leaving places better than when you found them. He honored janitors and housekeeping staff.
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Suffering Observed
When my Dad was ill during the last weeks of his life, he mostly lay on his back. His cancer treatment medication caused him to gain weight rapidly through the 12-plus years he was on it.
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A beautiful death
Today is the anniversary of my Dad’s death. Our family is traveling together. Mom and Dad’s house, where he passed away, has been sold. I wanted to get out of town.
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Giving Hope
I heard from two people last week that Dad’s “Words of Hope” book brought people comfort. One person gave the book to a family who lost a teenage son to suicide.
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Days of Plenty
My middle daughter, Ariana, is playing at the professional summer theatre in Coeur d’ Alene in Little Women the Musical.
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Life-Giving Presence
Someone asked me how I was doing with my Dad’s death. I told her, “Honestly, it is much more painful than I thought.
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Celebration of Life
Thank you so much for coming to the celebration of life! For those unable to attend the Fred Crowell Celebration of Life, here is the video of the event: Fred Crowell Celebration of Life Opening Welcome and prayer…
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Can You Feel the Peace?
At the celebration of life, we had a video of my Dad talking about peace and the importance of pursuing peace.
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RPE4FJC
My brother and I made some rocks to give at the Celebration of Life with the letters RPE4FJC. RPE stands for Relentless Pursuit of Excellence-one of Dad’s favorite reminders. Excellence means greatness or distinction, to tower above.
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Daily Grace
I am reading Ulysses by James Joyce. Truly not the easiest read but entertaining nonetheless.
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Celebration of Life
My Dad’s celebration of life is nearing. I look forward to honoring the life of my Dad. Dad loved parties because he loved people.
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Only Seven Seconds
Shann and Bella had a late-night this week, and I was alone in the house for the first time in a while. I sat on the couch watching the sunset.
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The Gift of Friendship
Shann has a beautiful coffee table book that just came out on Amazon in collaboration with his artist friend, Craig Hergert.
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Bright Star
My brother and I are planning my Dad’s Celebration of Life. Dad loved short phrases and slogans, so I love to call his memorial day Dad’s COL.
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Messenger
Today is my Dad’s birthday. Do I write that it would have been his 80th or that it is his 80th birthday? I will say it is Dad’s 80th birthday.
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Dust to Dust
I am surprised by my lethargy around the death of my Dad. It really has taken the wind out of me.
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Small Whisper
This was my first birthday without my Dad with me in person. Birthdays always involved dinner together with a beautiful mealtime conversation.
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Celebration of Life
My Dad started talking about dying in the last few years. Honestly, it bugged me. I didn’t want to talk about his funeral; I didn’t want to have any of his possessions; I didn’t want to imagine my…
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Next Generation
One of the verses Dad and I memorized together was Deuteronomy 4:7-9, a beautiful set of verses reminding parents to pass on what they have seen and witnessed as transformation from God to the next generations.
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The Book of Peace
Shann had his first dream of my Dad last week. He had been wondering when he would have one.
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Beauty over Utility
I have never loved flowers as a gift. They have always seemed to be an extravagance. I would rather Shann buy me a vacuum or a pair of shoes, something durable and useful.
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Too Soon
I spoke to one of Dad’s lifelong friends from California. They expressed sorrow because they did not get to say goodbye in person to Dad. My dear friend from Hawaii said the same thing.
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Reborn
My oldest daughter Natalya turned twenty-five Sunday. Dad was there for her birth.
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Poetry
I wouldn’t say Dad loved poetry when he was younger, but he definitely grew to love poetry. We both found poetry more and more beautiful after knowing my husband, Shann.
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The Human Soul
The day after Thanksgiving was difficult. I found myself feeling quite sad about Dad.
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Psalm 23
Dad and I often talked about life balance. Dad was a juggernaut of energy when he was younger. He was a make it happen person. But as he developed cancer, his ability to power through became harder.
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Fun Dad
Dad was a very fun dad. He enjoyed games. He loved playing with my brother and me. When I was little, Dad and I would always have a game of hide and seek.
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You are a Miracle
Dad delighted in people. Wherever he went, he made lifelong friends. On the day he died, I called many people whose numbers were on his phone to say goodbye. If we missed you, I am very sorry.
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A Godly Woman
Today is my Mom’s 80th birthday. Her courage in caring for my Dad through cancer reveals her reliance on prayer and dedication to serving. Mom is one of the most persevering people I know.
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The Decision of Gratitude
Dad asked our family to be with him when he first received the news he might have cancer. We gathered around the kitchen table to wait with him when the hospital called with his results.
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No Dis-Aster
The night Dad died, the sky was full of color, the sun was blood red with Hesperus, the evening star was visible.
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Dad the Adventurer
Traveling through Switzerland recently reminded me how much fun my Dad had sightseeing around the world. He loved new places and adventures.
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Focused Feelings
Dad didn’t like it when I asked him how he felt. He instead preferred me to ask what he was learning from God or what he wrote about in Words of Hope.
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The Discipline of Prayer
Dad died two months ago. It feels like it just happened and conversely that it happened long ago. Dad’s 12 year battle with cancer carried so many thoughts and questions about when his time would be up.
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Letters of Love
I opened Dad’s desk recently and found hundreds of random note cards. Some were covered in images of nature; others were blank white cards or cards printed with words like thank you or I love you.
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Outside of Time
My Dad left me a lengthy voicemail before he died. I waited to listen to it for a few weeks after he passed, waiting for a time I really needed to hear his voice.
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Sing for Joy to the Lord
Dad loved to sing, and for a long time, he was not good—so poor people thought he purposely mocked the song when he sang in church. Yet, Dad still sang— in church and in public.
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Be Anxious for Nothing
I opened up Dad’s journal from 1987 recently. The year I survived a severe car accident on my way to school.
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Heaven Minded
Dad met with his doctor for the last time in July. A cancer doctor is such a massive part of a cancer patient’s life.
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Wait for the Lord
Dad was not the best at waiting when he was younger. He disliked waiting in line or at the doctor’s office. With cancer, you spend many hours of your life in waiting rooms.
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Right Here Right Now
Dad loved to do crazy things, like two-footed hops down the middle of main street Disneyland or teach strangers how to laugh or practice his Qi Gong breathing technique in a crowded elevator.
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Live in Forgiveness
The keyword I wanted to focus on for today is, forgive. I know that as Dad crossed over into eternity, any memories of bitterness, resentment, or unforgiveness simply cannot accompany him into the presence of the Lord.
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From Fred’s Daughter Jennifer
Fred Crowell passed away on Wednesday, August 11, at around 7:40 pm. Fred is my Dad, and I’ve had the unparalleled blessing of being raised by such a devoted and loving father.
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Establish the Work of Our Hands
In the Bible, Psalm 90 is a prayer by Moses, full of wisdom. Moses had eight requests in the last part of the prayer.
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Three Stages of Life
In the early days, a baby spends the vast majority of time in a crib. The middle years of life are spent grinding it out for the accumulation of stuff.
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Dying Well
Dying well begins with living well. Nearly 40 years ago, one of my best friends from Seattle called me. His words were: “Fred, I am really afraid.
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3 Pills, Big Job
Approximately 160 men with metastatic prostate cancer are counting on three (3) daily pills to give them a few more good days on this earth, celebrating each new day.
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Enough Is Good Enough
“The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want, I have everything I need, all I really want is God.” – Crowell It’s been said that when John D Rockefeller was asked how much money was enough, he…
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Basketball Betrayal
Years ago, a wise college basketball coach evaluated a hopeful recruit with these words: “His body betrays him.” At the time, these were stunning yet insightful words. What in the world was he talking about?
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My Tribute to a Man Who Changed My Life
My dear, dear Father B: I slept a very rare 8 uninterrupted hours through the night this week. Praise God.
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This Is My Story, This Is My Song
“Old things passed away, all things become new.” – Paul Early this morning in my secret garden, I was thinking of my grandson.
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Excellent UCLA doctor time
Dear Forever Friends, Once again, the Lord delivers Fred Crowell big time. After 11 intense metastatic cancer years, my cancer is isolated in the bones and not present in soft tissue.
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Detachment Life Principle
Crowell’s Fourth Spiritual Pillar Detachment Truth is the 4th foundation of St. Ignatius’s Spiritual Exercise Theology. Every Jesuit priest is taught to exercise this foundational principle in their life, daily.
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You Are Enough
My Dearest of Friends, When St. Paul wrote his many letters from his Roman prison cell, I am sure he did not know they would reach his friends, let alone be read.
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Fridays With Fred
I am writing to all who call Fred Crowell brother and friend. I want you to know I love and appreciate you.
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The Hour Has Come
The wise King David encouraged us to measure our days and to know the brevity of life (Psalm 39:4-5). He also told us we are like grass, here today, gone tomorrow and remembered no more (Psalm 103:15-16).
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Live Well Die Well
Today I received OXYCOURAGE from a wonderful man who was a valuable player on one of my basketball coached teams, approximately 44-years-ago team. He has had a significant career in changing thousands of lives.
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Leave Magic Wherever You Go
Something incredibly positive has happened during my 10-year journey of over 250 oncology appointments. As always, ATTITUDE is the difference-maker in all of life experiences, cancer being no exception.
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Ten Thousand Books
The time has come! Ten thousand WORDS OF HOPE books are now being published: Full-color, hard-back cover 416 pages of wisdom 366 Hope messages The daily messages are to inform, inspire, and entertain.
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Coach Ed Pepple
Ed Pepple (1932-2020) was a great high school basketball coach for 49 years in the state of Washington, 42 of those years at Mercer Island High School.
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Dancing with Death
Dear Words of Hope reader, please do not flee from this WOH because of the word “death.” To equate it with dancing will be mind and heart boggling.
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Letter to Fred
Good morning, Freddy J. Crowell. The immediate, direct question needing an answer is: How are you?
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Never Let Be Said
Of all the possible criticism words that could be leveled against me by someone I love and admire, the most heartbreaking one would be: “I HOLD THIS AGAINST YOU.” These words could hurt deeply unless guarded by mutual…
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Death
“You aren’t ready to live until you are ready to die.” — Ray Eberle My days in the book of Matthew completed. The last chapters are like the last days of our lives. Death is the reality.
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One Pill One Book
In my left palm is a white $200 pill. Its purpose is to prevent kidneys from producing testosterone, a food prostate cancer delights in eating. The prescription is to take four pills each day, totaling $800.
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The Incomprehensible Mystery of God
Doubtlessly, humans were created to think and act with logic in mind. If it makes sense and is understandable, in today’s world it becomes acceptable.
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Mothers
How does a boy become a man without a good mother? This is a mystery to me. When I journeyed to my secret place or the place I also call the secret garden, I held the notion that…
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Memento Mori
MEMENTO MORI is the Latin for “Remember your death.” Three important men of the past reminded us of this. St.
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Death Is Not the Enemy-the Enemy Is Not Living
Hey, wanna come over for dinner tonight and have a meaningful discussion about death? How about a conversation over a latte about what you want to see happen at your funeral?
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State of Life Address to the four most important people in my life
Dear and Lovely Crowell’s, my A-Team! You have expanded the A-Team to a United Team of 11 Saints.
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Van Gogh – Loving People
Some amazing quotes by one of my favorite artists: “I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.” “Keep your love of nature, for that is the true way to understand art more and…
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Dear, Crowell Words of Hope Team
My dream of Hope is realized in, helping me, help you , help others. One of the most hopeless feelings is to lack the resources to help one in need or have them refuse to listen and receive…
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Legacy Gifting, Part 2
Christmas is that time of the year when giving is celebrated. Yet, I remember when, as a young child, I discovered there was no Jolly Old St. Nick making toys all year in the faraway North Pole.
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Legacy Gifting, Part 1
Children are precious gifts from the Lord. The greatest legacy gift parents can give their children is to live St. Paul’s parenting virtues , especially in his letter to the Philippians.
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5 How Questions
Be careful how you answer these 5 how questions. Serious reflection may alter the course of your life. For the good! Try to answer each question in writing using 20 words or less.
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My Prayer
1956 Hit Song by The Platters 56′ and 57′ for the Seahawks. The football team was 53-3 for these two seasons. In 57′ they gave up just 6 points, rolling to an undefeated season.
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Destiny Dream Makers
“Why did your father end up living alone with a bottle of alcohol in his hand with no hope?” -Dr. Shann Ferch This question could be asked of every street beggar and homeless person.
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How do you want to live?
A noted clinical psychologist believes if you don’t know the why you can never discover the how . Based on this belief, the why becomes the fundamental crucial question. Why do you want to live?
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Living Life Backwards
The ability to see what is not seen is a valuable skill in coaching and teaching. It is discerning the invisible. In the athletic world, imagine there is a slender, tall, clumsy athlete.
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Disciplined Detachment
If your time is spent with any type of media (the internet, television, radio, magazines, newspapers), you realize hardly a minute or page goes by without being consumed by an ad.
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Too Late May Be a Tragedy
“I love you Mom!” Oh, how I wish I would have told Katheen Mitchell Crowell these four simple words before her death. However, speaking love was not in our family’s vocabulary. It was not spoken…ever.
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Help Me Help You Help Others
As much as most of us need some help in life, we seem to want to do it all by ourselves no matter what the responsibility. Do you relate?
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Memories
Over 50 years ago Susie king Crowell said to me, “Fred, let’s make great memories for when we are old, all we will have left are our memories.” After two years of courtship and 54 years of marriage…
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Home Base (Plate)
“The day basketball season ended, my second love, baseball began. Throwing strikes was my passion.” – Fred Where do you go mentally and or physically when life seems to be sucking the air out of you?
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Beg and Plead, Part 2
PURIFICATION, HEALTH, ENERGY, ALIVENESS, PASSION . It seems impossible to experience these five miracle life skills if the body is in poor health. Again, it starts with the body.
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Time Evaporates
Moses said, ”Teach us to number our days.” St. James said, “Your life is like a vapor, here today and gone tomorrow.” The Psalmist said, “Life is as short-lived as grass.
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Anchors in My Life
The photo is a crafted pewter anchor. Following a lifelong tradition buying a treasure to help remember the experiences I purchased this keepsake in Nova Scotia (New Scotland).
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Man on a Mission
Get out of my way if you don’t want to be loved; if you don’t want to receive kindness, if you don’t want to be told over and over again that you are a miracle if you don’t…
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Leading Men for 50 Years
Jeff Erickson has been my friend, mentor, and hero from the first day I met him at NBC Alaska Camps. Jeff loves people; especially the youth of Alaska.
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An Elegant Question – You Should Know the Answer
How do you want to live? Be careful now. This is not a trick question! Seriously. How do you really want to live your life?
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Isabella
At age 6 Isabella declared, “Papa you have to live long enough to see my first baby born, but not my second one.” Bella and her two sisters, Natalya and Ariana, have been encouragement/oxygen for me in the…
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Dash
What are you going to do with your dash? – DASH begins the day you were born. Ends the day you die. What are you going to do with your dash?
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Young Lions
A young lion is a boy/man who is hungry, dedicated, loyal, hard-working, and willing to do what it takes to become a trustworthy man I called these rare type of boys/men young lions because the lion is the…
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The Walker Legacy
NBC Camps – 3 Generation Family Key statement: The legacy we leave will impact our children and their children’s children. The way we choose to live our lives will impact the next three generations.
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God Created Human Beings
Then God said let us make human beings in our image to be like ourselves… Then God looked over all He had made, and saw that it was very good!
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Church This Morning
This is where I am having church this morning. A cup of coffee. Beautiful Sea of Cortez. An opportunity to pray. This is what’s on my mind today: Pray, give thanks in all things.
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The Wonder of Youth
One day I was a player; next a coach; then a father and now Papa to hundreds of young players who love basketball and LIFEBALL!
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Two Worlds
“Boy, we live in two different worlds and we both are extremely happy.” -Long Time Friend As I read this email from a former classmate I began to reflect on the idea of people living in two different…
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75Th Celebration
March 18 is always a special day in the Crowell’s life. Mom wanted her Saint Patrick’s Day boy to be named after Ireland’s Patron Saint Patrick. Dad wanted the name Frederic after his dad.
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What Happened?
“Days are long sometimes. Very long, but life is way too short, way to brief.” -Fred Crowell 30 years ago, Fred Crowell was living in what he calls the Golden Era of Life.
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Goodbye Mighty Mite
An emergency call from Spokane to our stateroom 7051 on the MS Rotterdam, as we prepared to enter the Panama Canal, brought sad news.
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Celebrating 75 Years
Birthday presents to each other and writing off one more goal on our bucket list. So clearly, Susie King, the 19-year-old sophomore, at the University of Idaho stands out in my mind’s eye.
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Words of Hope
The story of Daily Words of Hope The story begins at the University of Idaho. One of my roommates received letters and care packages with goodies weekly. The joy these gifts brought Vern was obvious.
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National Treasures
The United States of America’s most valuable and most neglected resources. American’s treasure is youth. Adults deplore looking old. New and young are the trophies of today. Heaven forbid growing old.
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See, I Told You I Loved You
37 years ago I discovered for the first time God loved Fred Crowell. February 3 1979, was a great day for Susie and Fred Crowell. The Bulldogs of Samford University got a win on the basketball court.
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Just Say Yes
“Do what you can with what you have left.” – Jay Carty Thank you Jay Carty for answering the questions to Words of Hope. Jay is in the Fred Crowell Hall of Fame book for spiritual giants.
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All Paths Lead Somewhere
Mike is an amazing example of a miracle. Former superintendent of schools, coached two Washington State girls’ state basketball teams and one golf championship team. Judy was the love of Mike and their son Eric’s lives.
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FUNERAL – Victory or defeat?
“Death where is thy victory, where is thy Sting?” – Paul Saturday was a funeral day for the Crowells. Hundreds came to celebrate the life of Dr.
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Tribute to Mr. Gene Avey
“A dear friend to all dedicated to educating youth, to dream dreams, to love life, to serve family with no reservation and, in a quiet, gentle manner, be all His for the glory of God.
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Do Not Be Afraid
“His appearance was like lightening and His clothes white as snow.” Today my remarkable friend David Tucker will be honored at his memorial service. Mr.
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More Than Conquerors – Romans 8
“Death where is thy victory? Where is thy sting?” 1 Corinthians 15:55 David Tucker Story My beloved friend is on his final journey to have victory over death.
