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The Discipline of Gratitude
I am keeping a gratitude timer on my phone. Every hour and a half, I check in with myself. How grateful have I been? How much news or negative thinking have I jumped into?
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Finding Hope
One of the stories Dad and I loved came from an experiment designed to see how well people can spot talent.
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Prayer as Resistance
One of the practices of contemplative prayer is eliminating prayer as performance. I consider how much poor religion gravitates toward perfection, judgment, us and them, pageantry, and power.
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Infinite Abundance
The other day I was praying through Colossians 1:9-14. I was praying about myself which is interesting because the passage is about praying for others.
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Sacred Blue Prints When Life is Hard
God has been surprising me lately. I have been meditating on these verses, “Do not be anxious about anything but through prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” I have a section in my daily…
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The Courage of Conversation
Dad and I often talked together in surprise how fearful people are to compassionately engage in difficult conversations.
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Learning from Conflict
I appreciate my dad so much because of how he dispelled the fear and chaos of conflict. Conflict can be part of a passionate life.
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Systemic Love
At the core of all systems of love is listening, mutual respect, serving others, repentance, gratitude, and joy. Health looks complete from top to bottom and bottom to top.
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The Beloved Community
I was visiting my daughter in New York City, and we stepped into a French pastry shop. Two beautiful young girls were selecting macrons with their mom.
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Systemic Trouble
I was becoming high and mighty about fathers and their need to change when my husband Shann reminded me that a critical, hateful woman will always evoke or attract men who are absent, distant, violent, oppressive, and lost.…
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Preparing Children for Faith
In this advent season, I love to read the first chapters of the Book of Luke. I am struck by John coming to prepare people for the coming of the Messiah.
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How to Pray
I have been praying for the discipline to trust the Giver of Good Gifts. I believe God loves to surprise and delight us beyond what we ask for.
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The Ugly Truth About Complaining
I find the research on complaining so powerful. Complaining or listening to complaining for thirty minutes impairs and diminishes the intellectual part of the brain. We actually lose intellect when we complain or listen to it.
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Sharing Joy
The scripture passages I read this morning had a verse that has been reverberating in my mind. “When it was time for Elizabeth to have her baby, she gave birth to a son.
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The Complexity of Grief
A friend sent me a video of their school singing the worship song, “Goodness of God” by CeCe Winans. This is the song our family sang at Dad’s celebration of life.
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The Things that Make for Peace
One of the recent devotional messages asked me to picture Jesus as He weeps over Jerusalem.
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What Voices Do We Listen To?
One of my daughters enjoys true crime podcasts. She told me of a real estate agent who sensed something was wrong with a couple that wanted to see her listing.
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Going Through
Sometimes, when I start to pray my mind wanders over the myriad of tasks I have for the day. Sometimes everywhere I turn, my mind is a space of anger and resentment.
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The Most Important Daily Decision
I recently researched the benefits of gratitude. I am still surprised how overwhelmingly transformative gratitude is to our health and wellbeing, to our relationships, and to every aspect of our life.
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Circle of Listening
I am always surprised by transformation. There are so many stories throughout history of people on a tragic trajectory until grace intervenes and changes the outcome.
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Drinking Poison
My husband Shann and I have been discussing bitterness. It’s a deceptive emotion and incredibly dangerous.
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The Path of Destruction When We Don’t Listen
I have been reading Proverbs recently. Dad loved this book of the Bible, and we talked about it often. He and I both struggle with listening.
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Ask
I have been at my parents’ place, praying where my dad prayed. I imagine him here and picture him praying.
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Letting Go of Vengeance
God is always surprising me. Several years ago, a man trained up by us at NBC took all our training, investment, and information and tried to run camps without us.
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Beyond Crisis
I have been thinking about how crisis reveals truth. What does difficulty show about the underlying fabric of a home, marriage, business, or nation?
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Where Truth Dwells
One statement that has been thrilling my mind is this, “The natural habitat for truth is human conversation.” How we speak to others reveals how we live. So powerful!
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Reclamation Instead of Regret
I have been considering how regret is a stronger emotion than gratitude. Regret can overrun our desire for gratitude. It can invade our thoughts and interrupt our thankfulness.
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The Healing Power of Praise
I read recently that gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. It counteracts against the four most toxic emotions: envy, bitterness, regret, and depression.
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Are you listening? God is speaking.
We had a staff meditation on Psalm 4 and Philippians 4:4-8. These are some of my favorite memory verses. I am always surprised by the demands of the Psalmist, which is David in this case.
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Meditation on the Cross
A friend of mine posted on Facebook a description of the physical suffering of Jesus on the cross. I never realized the loss of blood is why water poured from his side.
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Living and Active
Da d and I would discuss why Bible classes in Christian schools and colleges were often the worst classes, boring, uninspired, didactic, and lacking. I think about this in my own life.
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Turning
We have had a vibrant fall this year. As the chlorophyll dissipates from the leaves, their true colors are revealed. The color deepens with the warm days and crisp nights.
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Naming
I have a few friends having babies soon and one of the fun parts is to learn the name. It’s amazing how children live into a name. It’s a creative act to name a child.
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Effusive Love
I drove by a sign that said, “God uses us to love people.” I have felt tremendously loved by others. My mom and dad loved me with an all-encompassing, deeply powerful love. It was so healing.
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Awakened
I met with a beautiful friend about grief . She asked me about my journey with Dad’s death and how it has affected me. “Like a major car wreck, like a life altering experience,” I explained.
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Judgmental Hiding
Sometimes I imagine Dad riding next to me in the car. We might pray together, or I will ask him a question. I loved to get his opinion on dysfunction.
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Perfect Love Casts Out Fear
My husband Shann was speaking recently to a group of people describing his life before Christ came to him with healing power.
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Philosophical Seeds
Dad always believed that philosophies would play out to reveal the best way to live. An acquaintance from church in my younger life turned his back on God. He believed that chastity was abusive and restrictive.
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One God
Sometimes we think we are God. We act like we alone know what He wants and others need to listen to us.
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Strengthened
Sometimes I wrestle with what to pray for others. I have learned that praying for something specific may not be what God wants. Instead, I study scripture. How does Paul pray? One beautiful prayer is in Ephesians.
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Facing the Unimaginable
My daughter is in her Freshman year at Pepperdine. This past week a group of senior girls were walking in a busy part of the pacific coast highway just four miles from Pepperdine when a young man lost…
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Tranquility
My dad loved spontaneity, but he also loved ceremony. He believed events required the joy of planning, the importance of tangible ways to talk about the event, and the remembrance of an event.
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Secrets
I have made my house a memory palace which is a device to help me remember things.
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Preparing or Living
I love this quote, “There are people who go on infinitely preparing for life and not living it.” I can be like this. Most of my work life and daily living revolves around preparing for an event.
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Having Faith Beyond Our Why
In our office there is a photo of my friend’s son who died recently in an accident. He is smiling and as I walk by, it looks like he is smiling at me.
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The Antidote for Sullenness
I was talking to a woman about our family’s mealtime conversation and daily spotlighting. She looked skeptical. “What if you had a sullen child who didn’t want to respond?” she asked. I was surprised for a minute.
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Let Your Heart Take Courage
With war stories and upsetting news, I believe the most powerful decision is to praise and pray. When we as followers of Christ become afraid, when we take our eyes off Jesus, we give fear power.
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Real Leverage
Dad understood leverage which can be a tough concept to grasp. In my opinion, Dad understood leverage so well on the basketball court which helped him understand the value of leverage in the home.
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Miraculous Power
My dad started a practice of letter writing at camp and for the last fifty-plus summers, student-athletes pause during the week to write a letter to a family member or key mentor.
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Handling Evil
I have heard two sermons now on the devil. They are both wildly confusing and humbling stories. The first is about Job.
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Metanoia
I love the word metanoia. It’s not necessarily a pretty word but the meaning is beautiful to me. It means a change in thinking and behaving resulting from penitence or spiritual conversion with a future orientation.
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Predicting the Future
I like to guess what will happen in the future. I would like to be a prophet. I hate to be caught unprepared.
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Forgiveness Work
I have been mediating on a sentence I wrote last week. “Dad did the work of forgiving his father.” Work is a true description of the forgiveness process.
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The Power of Story
My friend reached out to tell me about a new form of Christian counseling that involves writing out a traumatic story and walking through that story with a trained facilitator in a small group setting.
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The Sound of Freedom
One of the most misunderstood, difficult concepts on the planet is forgiveness. You can watch a YouTube video of a celebrity recommending not to forgive or forget, and another saying to forgive the unthinkable and recommending forgiveness as…
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Pageantry or Practice?
One of my dad’s favorite mentors was a man named Paul Nakai. Paul did so much to elevate our understanding of relational health.
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The Radiant Exchange
One of the questions we have been meditating on in the office is, “What do you believe God wants to help you remove or release in your life that would allow you to more freely experience His abiding…
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Handling Enemies
I read a wild verse that I hadn’t noticed before. It says, “Do not rejoice and gloat when your enemy falls, And do not let your heart be glad [in self-righteousness] when he stumbles, Or the LORD will…
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Loveless Fathers
I spoke with Mom about the miracle of my dad’s transformation from aggressive agnostic to total faith. How do these things happen? After his mom died, Dad hated God and everyone who claimed faith.
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Death is Strange
My mom’s good friend died last week. She was in her early seventies and the epitome of health. Last March, she and mom vacationed together. They lifted weights, walked every day, ate healthy, and enjoyed each other.
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How’s Your PMA?!
This summer we focused on the topic of enthusiasm. It was one of Dad’s favorite words.
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Messages to Persevere
Sometimes, I write messages to myself when I am in the middle of a crisis. I keep them as reminders that this painful moment will pass.
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Good News
Dad and I loved the story of Joseph. It is such a fascinating consideration for me. Joseph, annoying, openly, and shamelessly favored.
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Words of Hope
I love thinking about the phrase, “Words of Hope.” I meditate on each piece of the phrase. WORD – Some of my dad’s favorite scripture verses he and I memorized include this.
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The Power of Weakness
Dad loved scripture. Memorization was a big part of our lives together. We would drive and pray scripture aloud. For example, we memorized 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.
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Psalm 20
One of the first passages we all memorized as a staff was Psalm 20. It’s my go-to passage for those in distress.
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Love is in the One on One
I have had a long break from Words of Hope for various reasons. Primarily, I needed to regain my footing.
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We Croak
One of our family friends has an app that’s called “We Croak.” Seven times during the day, a small alarm goes off and a quote pops up as a reminder on how to live.
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Welcoming Mind
I am so often surprised by Jesus and I want to know more about His interactions on earth. The story that is shocking me right now is His meeting with the Samaritan woman at the well.
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Verbal Guardrails
Camp is in full swing with many moving parts and of course unforeseen challenges. Most of these come out of nowhere surprising me without warning.
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How Love Speaks
During a poetry night at our house, we played a round of “speed friendship” and then ended with the question, “Who is someone who has influenced your life for good?” One of the young men in attendance is…
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Simple
I liked how Dad spoke to me. He was a great coach because he could take a task that felt daunting and make it very achievable and simple.
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When Frustration Comes
The other day I had a few inordinately aggravating difficulties that were more irritations than problems. If you follow Words of Hope regularly, you know what that signals for me.
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Dad’s Last Podcast
I received a beautiful letter from William May who told me stories about his appreciation for my dad. He shared with me a podcast I didn’t know Dad was part of.
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Learning How to Comfort
I was cleaning out a backpack and found a staff meeting paper from March 11, 2020. This was the last time we met in person as a team before we closed the office for several months.
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Creating Culture
We have been playing a short game and praying everyday as at our office. I have been curious about building meaningful connection. How do we create mini moments of joy and wonder?
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Where There is Strife There is Pride
One meditation I have been speaking in my mind and heart is from Proverbs 13:10, “Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” Strife means to contend for superiority, quarrel…
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Memorial Day
I am feeling afraid to remember. What if I struggle to remember? What if I don’t want to think of all the white crosses and the families with an empty place at the table?
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Overflowing Hope
I am so thankful my dad called these little devotionals Words of Hope . I bless him for this.
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Love in Action
I have been finding photos of my dad when he is my age. He looks so young and healthy! I can hear him counseling me as I begin to feel myself getting uptight.
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The Secret to A Long and Happy Life
A close friend sent me a Ted Talk that is the most watched in Ted history. This talk references the longest study of adults done to date.
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Celebrating People
I found a note from my dad. Dad wrote amazing words of encouragement. He celebrated people and made me feel like I could run through a brick wall if I had to.
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Inside Out Faith
I keep thinking about many Christian churches and schools I have witnessed in my life. Here is one thing I deeply admired about my dad. He believed that Christianity should change us.
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What You Need When You Need It
We have a chalkboard with the “verse of the week” stenciled across the top hanging above the NBC Camps office sink.
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Struggling to Ask Forgiveness
A friend of ours is doing his dissertation on the phenomenon of forgiveness asking. He is researching the experience of asking forgiveness of family, friends, and colleagues. He asked me about my experience.
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Self Control
I love thinking about the Spirit of God. The Spirit of God seems full of joy, life, and abundance.
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Setback to Comeback
I love the phrase, “A setback is a setup for a comeback.” I have been chanting this in my mind for the last few days. All the remarkable stories have this trajectory.
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The Need of a Good Father
Last night, our family attended a beautiful event combining the discussion of leadership and dance. This teaching was presented by a father/son duo.
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Disciplines
Dad greatly excelled at relational discipline. He willingly submitted to the rigor of relational well-being, investing time and attention, encouraging words, and spending quality time with those he loved. Dad also greatly excelled at spiritual discipline.
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Gratitude in Grief
Growing up my family had a daily ritual of reading Our Daily Bread every morning at the table. No matter who was staying or living at our home at the time, everyone participated.
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Peace on Earth
Recently, I had a waking vision of my dad. I was walking on the treadmill, praying through the Pray as You Go app. I saw Dad walking toward me, hugging me and welcoming me.
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Careful Listening
Dad and I struggled with listening. Shann would laugh at our conversations sometimes when we were both distracted. When present, Dad was an amazing listener. It is one of the big six qualities at NBC Camps—carefully listen.
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Time for Good News
I am often surprised by sorrow. I didn’t realize how many different shades of sadness I could experience. Small moments trigger me, and I am often triggered, especially when people say something to me about my dad.
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Easy Adjustment
Adjustment is such an important skill in relationships. I picture Dad with his injured neck. He could not easily adjust his posture or his point of view without pain.
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Relational Tipping Points
My husband Shann and I have been talking a lot about the criticism/defensiveness cycle and how insightful it is for relational health. I have found it valuable in my relationships lately.
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Slow the Bus Down
During staff prayer, we selected words we needed for our week. A few staff members chose the word, “Energy.” One of the people I love is a man named Danny Beard who worked at NBC Camps for many…
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Fair and Truthful Conversations about Faith
If we go shopping, it is almost always going to be for a book. One of the new ones we picked up was from a cute shop in London.
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The importance of Symbolism
I watched one of our friend’s post a video of his baptism. His daughter also was baptized. It’s so surprising to me what a joyous event this is. I cry every baptism I watch.
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An Inspiring Example of Listening to God’s Will
Dad loved biographies more than any other type of book. He read to me children’s stories of inspiring people. One person he loved was Florence Nightengale.
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Stories That Save Us
When you read or listen to the stories, the ones that deeply change and transform us are the ones with the great themes of life at their core. Struggle, redemption, betrayal, forgiveness, death, and resurrection.
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Redefining Success
I love that Dad worked hard to redefine success. He had to do it all his life because the temptation to place “numbers” or “money” or “fame” as the barometer of success is such a part of our…
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Easter Story
I am in love with Christianity, but I am also overwhelmed by all the trauma and bloody history this word represents.
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God is Moving Mountains
How important is hope? I can’t believe how I need it. I have five big hopeful dreams right now and they are easily toppled with a few fearful thoughts. My husband Shann is infinitely more pragmatic.
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Good Friday
One of the gifts God has given me is a reframing of what I define as good. It’s been a long life lesson. I believe the disciples learned this lesson.
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A Soul Fully Alive
I am surprised at how many men I meet who laud the fact that they don’t cry. They make it sound like it is an accomplishment.
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Devastating Beauty
My husband Shann teaches poetry for Stanford. I read one of his lessons and it was so beautiful I felt like crying. He says that courage is needed to be a poet.
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Life Changers
My dad loved people, and he built beautiful friendships. One person he loved is a man named Rachi Wortham. We just did a short video story about his life.
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Will You Forgive Me?
My dad loved the concept of forgiveness. He grew up in an abusive home with a father he did not admire and in fact deeply hated.
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Overturning
Does anger change us? Jesus opens his ministry after the wedding miracle with anger. I identify with this. Wanting to move the church with righteous indignation and sweep out all the offending people and practices.
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Wild Imagination
I have a bad habit of imagining someone else’s suffering will pass to me like a contagious disease.
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Can Love Exist Without Sacrifice?
During our mealtime conversation, my husband Shann asked how the idea of God sacrificing His son on our behalf moves us? It is a profound consideration.
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Hand Vac
Shann and I were speaking at a conference about forgiveness. It’s always amazing how everyone gets overwhelmed with this topic.
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Solid Rock
The words from the hymn, “On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand,”rang through my mind this morning. Dad loved this song. I can hear him trying to sing it.
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Sifted
I have been meditating on a few lines I heard in my devotional about Peter and the devil. Jesus says, “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat.
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Eyes of Cain
I have been thinking about unity and violence. How does the turn happen? For Cain it is losing his joy for being in union with his brother.
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Multiplication
March 18th was the birthday of my beloved father. I have been crying on and off all week. March is our family’s birthday month, and Dad is deeply missed during this time.
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Zombie Revival
We read a gorgeous essay aloud as family members recently written by Albert Camus. He seems like a person I would have loved time with. A devout atheist who was full of gratitude and wonder.
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Forgiveness Revolution
At the conference Shann and I spoke at, we invited people to practice asking forgiveness. I role played with a woman who had been a Princeton professor for many years. Her eyes were incredibly empathetic.
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Moments of Wonder
I sit watching about 20 robins congregating in the trees. They greet each other noisily and swoop continuously between my neighbor’s tree and mine. They have bright red breasts and look so happy together.
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Best Thought
One of Dad’s favorite hymns came on when I was listening to my Pray As You Go app.
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Brave the Wind
Driving through a beautiful college campus, I notice several ugly tree stumps in the middle of the landscaped meridian. They jut sideways with sharp points. I remember these trees.
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Religion
I loved my conversation with a devout atheist on a recent flight. I think he enjoyed the conversation as well.
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Wrath
Our family recently listened to a sermon delivered on the wrath of God. If you cringe reading this, it was cringeworthy.
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Worldview
I met a devout atheist on a flight recently who loved Christopher Hitchens, a world-famous atheist. Hitchens contracted throat cancer and died denying God.
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Navigating Loneliness
I would really love to have a conversation with my dad about loneliness. I never asked him if he struggled feeling lonely. The main definition of loneliness is a feeling of being disconnected.
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Remember Me
I read an evocative post about the thief hanging on the cross. He did not get baptized. He didn’t do anything most churches classify as salvation.
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Rational
I had a beautiful opportunity on a flight to Oklahoma recently to talk with a brilliant person who memorized the poetry of GM Hopkins and John Milton when he was younger.
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The Why of Rules
I recently wrote an homage to my dad on LinkedIn highlighting a lesson he imparted to me and Jay as a great father. A few people interacted with the post.
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Lenten Season
Today marks the beginning of Lent. It’s a time that triggers strong images and memories of Dad. I can picture him walking around New York City with an ashen cross on his forehead.
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Industrious
Dad had a paper route at the age of nine. He had to be out the door early in the morning, as early as 5:00 am. Anacortes is built on a hill.
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Presidents Day
My dad LOVED reading biographies and one of his favorites was John Adams by David McCollough.
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Tgbtg
Dad loved acronyms. He had a million different ones he used often. My newest favorite is from my brother Jay. He texted a response TGBTG which stands for To God Be The Glory.
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Enough
I have been reading my dad’s Words of Hope messages lately. I was surprised to find one in April of 2021 where my dad wrote, “My promise for 2021 is just to live in the reality that enough…
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Navigating Resentment
I have been pondering a message Brene Brown gave on resentment. She explains that resentment stems from envy rather than anger. This would have been an incredible conversation with Dad. I imagine our dialogue.
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Sincere Devotion
It is Valentine’s Day, a day most people focus on romantic love. However, the namesake for this day was deeply devoted to so much more than romantic love.
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Good News
Dad and I memorized a beautiful poem by Wendell Berry. One of the poignant lines says, “when despair for the world grows in me…” Despair is the opposite of hope.
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Miracle Life
A friend of mine told me she heard about my dad’s love for calling people “a miracle.” She began to do this as a substitute teacher in a Western Washington school district.
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Able to Move
Our family liked to tease Dad that he would be peaceful hearing about his car being wrecked but enraged about five crumbs on the table.
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Dark Ages
I just finished a historical book on Florence. After reading it, I felt compelled to write an unfavorable review. I usually never write unfavorable reviews because I like to give others the benefit of the doubt.
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Seeds of Faith
Some of my daughter’s friends are incredibly kind and remarkable people. They do not know what they believe about faith. They are curious but feel inadequate in the face of deciding what to believe.
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Tomorrow!
I am reading a historical novel about Quebec set in 1697. The author, one of my favorites, did extensive research for this book.
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Dad’s Favorite Number
Dad loved the Trinity. He literally was ecstatic about the community and unity of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Because of his deep love for this, one of his favorite numbers was three.
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At All Times
I have been meditating on the first part of Psalm 34:1, “I will bless the Lord at all times.” I consider the words, “at all times.” This is a topic Dad and I discussed often.
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The Lord
I continue my meditation of the first verse in Psalm 34. The beginning of the verse says, “I will bless the Lord at all times.” I consider the word “the” and how important this small word is in…
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I Will Bless
One of my favorite passages of scripture is Psalm 34. What a psalm of solace! Dad and I would pray each word, meditating on it.
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Interior Garden
I have been thinking about the Fall and the Garden of Eden, specifically what was lost in our relationship with God and with each other.
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Extremes
My husband Shann and I took a class together when he was getting his PhD in clinical psychology. It was a religion class taught at the university.
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Focal Point
My best frame of mind comes from meditation on gratitude and the truth that I belong to God. Every time I draw my attention away from these focal points I wind up off balance.
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Discipline
I am thankful that my dad instilled in me the discipline of scripture memory. I have been memorizing in earnest since 2005 and have had about 450-550 working verses.
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Fervor
I listened to a sermon recently on Galatians. The pastor had worked himself up into a zealous fervor decrying the current times. Then he addressed sins, especially of the culture he was desperately trying to fight against.
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Godly Boundaries
I have been learning about boundaries. They are incredibly challenging and require discernment. You can see the problem of lack of boundaries in politics.
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The Greatest Work of Art
Our family had our nightly mealtime conversation and Bella, my youngest, offered up the elegant question for the night.
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Provocation
My husband Shann has been researching angels for a novel he is working on. He recently texted me a few verses from Exodus 23.
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Miracle of Grace
My husband Shann and I watched a modern-day movie fable attempting to show the calamity of friendships and families that lead to war.
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Selfish Ambition Disguised as Evangelism
I watched a video of a woman sitting down with two college students. Her intent was to share the gospel. They recorded their conversation.
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Honoring MLK
Shann was an A student but not a real reader when I met him and now he teaches in the PhD department of Gonzaga’s Leadership program reading 250+ paged dissertations.
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Wrong Direction
My car was turned the wrong direction when we were leaving the house. It was facing the direction leading to my mom and dad’s home.
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Prepare When Life is Calm
a. Who is my mentor? Who can I call for wisdom and objectively wise counsel when I encounter a crisis next year? b. What are the character traits I want for my life in crisis?
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When Not If
I’ve written the blogs for NBC Basketball for almost twenty years now. In August 2019, I wrote the following blog—Are you prepared for the unexpected?
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Greetings and Partings
My husband Shann and I often celebrate that we live in the Golden Age of research. We can communicate to anyone, regardless of philosophy or religion, what truly works and what does not.
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Emotional Discernment
I admire how my dad navigated his emotions. He grew very calm under duress. When others became aggressive, he became clearer-headed. He slowed down, spoke less, and listened more attentively.
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Preeminence
Team chemistry is vital to becoming a championship-level team. Researchers have found the importance of both task chemistry and social chemistry. Task chemistry is a requirement for success.
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Intentions
Dad loved the promise of the new year. He loved journals, plans, and renewal. Yesterday, on New Year’s Day, a group of us gathered around the table to discuss how to enter 2023 with intention.
