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What time is it?
My daughter traveled to Melbourne for her college roommate’s wedding. She left the afternoon of Christmas Eve because flights were astronomical any other time.
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God
I follow a physics Facebook page as Shann and I are both interested in quantum physics.
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Friends
My friend Luska and her daughters traveled to Spokane to spend Christmas with us. Luska is originally from London, and we met at Silver Lake after she attended camp in England.
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Repeat the Sounding Joy
We love Christmas music at the Ferch house. One of my new favorites is Aretha Franklin’s “Joy to the World.” I just heard it for the first time this year.
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Spark of imagination
One of my dad’s favorite mentors was a man named Paul Nakai. He is a top leadership expert who helped advise after the space shuttle Challenger disaster as well as Three Mile Island accident.
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Christmas Intention
The world outside my window is covered in snow, the trees flocked with hoarfrost. A palpable stillness descends with the snow. I have a quiet, almost solemn but still joyful feeling as I look out in wonder.
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Community of Trust
At NBC Camps, our team often talks about creating true community together. We discuss the difference between health and toxicity. At the root of toxicity is contempt, criticism, defensiveness, or stonewalling.
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Stalwart
I love words and the word stalwart isn’t a common one, though it should be. Stalwart is a synonym for stable, committed, foundational, and secure.
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No Grumbling
This is a strange time to be alive. There is a zeitgeist moving that is full of portent like a mighty storm brewing. I believe the Lord is near though I am not sure what that means.
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Envy Observed
It’s basketball season. The starting lineups have been announced and I consider all the students who don’t make the starting five.
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Basketball Healers
Dad was a basketball healer. He knew how to bring repair and healing to teams who were divided or despairing. Not many people describe someone as a basketball healer.
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The Temptation of Pain
Pain is tricky. It makes people uncomfortable. Pain can cause us to make the wrong decisions. I love the training of Ignatius of Loyola who cautions never to make decisions in our pain.
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Together
A passage of scripture blew my mind this week. The writer of Hebrews is describing so many beautiful men and women of the faith; some who changed the trajectory of nations, some who won miraculous victories, some who…
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Running the Race
I recently listened to the Pray as You Go app, and the scripture passage was from Hebrews.
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Time Intolerable
Grief continues to surprise me. The other night I missed Dad so much I just lay on my bed crying for a while. The pain of his loss felt like a sharp dagger.
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Listen for the Blessing
I like to talk. Sadly, I often talk too much, and about the wrong thing. This hurts my relationship with my family. I say something that is judgmental, fearful, or just plain bothersome.
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Delight in Difficulty
One of the hardest lessons I have learned is the discipline to delight in difficulty. Our NBC Central office team has been practicing this for almost 10 years, but it still is not easy or natural.
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A Life of Peace or Fear
I have a dreadful notion that arises now and then of God as a punisher. As soon as it comes, I remember one of the most consistent messages in the Bible, “Do not fear.” There are many different…
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Practice Gratitude
Practicing gratitude was one of the most important disciplines for my dad. Gratitude for God, for life, and for people were his intentional and pursued disciplines. I call gratitude a discipline because it is a habitual mindset.
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The Magnificent One
There is a Webb Space photograph that has captured my imagination. It appears to be a huge hand lifted like an artist moving the stars into place. The mentor for C.S.
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The Big Six
Dad loved acronyms and teaching slogans. One of his favorites was called the Big Six. These were the must-have, go-to moves for basketball players.
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The Importance of Conflict
I am very quick to emotion. I cry, rejoice fully, and get angry quickly. My husband Shann is cool and calm. If you want to have fun on a Disney ride, you want to go with me.
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Gentle Impact
I read a brilliant insight from the Gottman Marriage Minute. What I love about John Gottman’s research is that it is immediately applicable to any relationship. Need a better relationship with your child?
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Love in Public
I heard a beautiful quote that justice is love in public. What does loving look like? How much does my desire for love become thwarted by my own dysfunction and aspire for control?
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Remembering Veterans Day
I read a short story about a firsthand account of the suffering in Iraq aloud to Mom and Dad. Afterward, they read the rest of the book.
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The Kingdom of God is Now
I was praying about what to write in Words of Hope and I kept feeling asked to write the Kingdom of God is now.
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Modern Day Pilgrim’s Progress
If you read my Dad’s Words of Hope you will see how much he cared for those going through depression or cancer.
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Cities
I have been fortunate enough to visit many cities around the world such as Cape Town, Barcelona, and Prague. Each city has its own vibe and story. You can see it on the faces of the people.
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Ambition
I have been wrestling with the word ambition. The definition of it makes it more complex. In some definitions it says ambition means “aspiration, intention, goal and aim.” These are worthy words.
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Oklahoma City
Oklahoma City is not my favorite in terms of beauty. The water is brown, much of the city is worn down and the tree in our Spokane backyard is prettier than the entire urban sprawl.
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Culture Wars
I have frustration at the hypocrisy and moralism of certain forms of Christianity in America’s extreme right. Men measuring the skirts of young girls and calling these young women sinners is appalling.
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Fiery Furnace
My youngest child Bella and I only have a few months left together before she launches off to college and a brand-new life. We do a devotional together each day.
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Losing My Head
My husband Shann and I had a bit of a spat in Oklahoma City after our daughter’s junior recital. After all the planning, there was an issue with the video recording of the event.
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Banquet Table
My dad deeply loved Psalm 23. He meditated on it often. As I read C.S. Lewis’s Reflections on the Psalms , he brings attention to something I haven’t considered.
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On Writing Words of Hope
A very sweet friend took me to lunch. She has been so kind in sending encouragement after a Words of Hope message she resonated with. As we met for lunch, she asked me about the writing process.
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An Elegant Question
During date night, Shann asked me an elegant question. In the metaphor of sowing and reaping, he asked what two seeds I am thankful I am planting in my life.
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Worth the Pain
I have been missing Dad so much lately. I walked by a neighborhood bench where he liked to sit and pray and shocked myself by bursting into tears. They came without warning.
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A + B = C
In math, A + B normally should equal C. In life, the same should happen. A loving home will produce loving kids. However, this is not always the case.
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Truth or Hypocrisy Awakened
I recently watched a movie about a man who demands a perfect world to the point he abuses others to achieve it. Perfection is so seductive.
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Set the Table
Dad loved the phrase, “Set the Table.” For him, it was a call to action for those in leadership to provide a space for true community and transformation to occur.
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What Goes Around Comes Around
In C.S. Lewis’s Reflections on the Psalms he addresses a topic I have struggled with. What do we do with the Psalms that pray down wrath on enemies?
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Right Intuition and False Suggestion
I am reading Swiss Reformed medical doctor Paul Tournier. He writes that neurosis is the division of right intuition and false suggestion. I see this easily in myself.
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God Exists
We have a quote on our fridge by one of the best poets in the world, Li Young Li, who says, “I don’t have faith that God exists, since I experience God enough to know that God exists…
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An Admirable Faith
Shann and I have an elegant conversation every evening. We sit together looking out a window or sitting on a porch. We hold hands and start with gratitude for each other.
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Eternal Joy
I recently visited Oklahoma to support my daughter Ari who was playing Margo in Bright Star the musical. While I was there, I sat in a chair my dad had sat in five years earlier.
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Energy Crisis
Dad and I often discussed energy. Navigating cancer requires tremendous energy expenditures, which results in less energy for other aspects of life.
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Dangerous Tendencies
Dad wanted to be wise about tendencies to make the wrong response in crisis. He believed becoming wise about how we handle stress and crisis is an important consideration, especially if there is trauma in the family history.…
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Accused and Accuser
Jesus always touches me. I am reading about His interaction with the Pharisees and the woman caught in adultery. He takes a woman who had done wrong. She was morally guilty, and He showed her forgiveness.
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Never Outwitted
I have been mulling over a scripture verse for the last two weeks. It says, “I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us.
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The Danger of Must
I recently wrote a piece about Dad being an amazing culture changer and described with intensity a father who neglects his daughter and a mother who criticizes hers.
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Culture Changer
Dad was a culture changer. He envisioned a home with a true loving, present father who asked forgiveness of his children and encouraged dialogue even if there was disagreement. Not many homes have this.
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Skilled Parents
Parenting is hard. What makes matters worse is that people often don’t work to figure out how to be skilled as a parent.
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Speed Friendship
Our family has a fun mealtime activity called “Speed Friendship.” We ask a question and quickly find out more about whoever is at the table. Examples of questions we might ask are: · Favorite color to wear?
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Relational Joy
I read recently that researchers have discovered a connection between relational joy in your fifties and wellbeing and flourishing health in your eighties.
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A More Transformative Perspective
In the last two Words of Hope, I have been sharing about a presentation Shann and I heard during our prayer retreat.
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God’s Heartbreak
Shann and I were part of a prayer retreat recently. Each day had two or three presenters.
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Heartbreak
Recently Shann and I participated in a contemplative prayer retreat. One of the beautiful and elegant questions asked was, “What breaks your heart?” One of the things that breaks my heart is a child without a loving, present…
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Joan of Arc Hope
I find Dad’s title, “Words of Hope,” so crucial during difficult times. I say difficult times because I feel a deep battle raging in the world — one between joy and despair, community and division, and peace and…
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Counsel of Equals
Dad and I had an important mentor who had helped with the Challenger Space Shuttle disaster as a consultant in the aftermath of the tragedy.
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Words of Love: The Source of Love
A friend asked me the other day why I thought Dad was so dynamic and incredibly loving to others. He told me he doesn’t know anyone like my Dad, who knew and cared about so many people.
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Dramatic Transformation
My father-in-law was on a generational pattern of self-sabotage. He came from no education, alcoholism, wasted living, and deeply troubled relationships.
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Facing the Year of Fear
On March 11, 2020, we received news the March Basketball Tournament was closing. Games were canceled across the country. We met as a staff in the conference room for the last time.
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Priceless Words
I found a letter from my Dad to Natalya, my oldest. (I know the proper way to write “my dad” is lowercase, but I think of my Dad as grander, more significant, and worthy of a capital D…
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Self-Responsible Leadership
Dad loved parenting, and he was a fantastic Dad. He and Mom taught Shann and me so much about the daily habits of being a meaningful parent.
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Caretaker
I asked Mom what she would like to say in Words of Hope as my Dad’s caretaker for over twelve years. I think caretaking might be even more grueling than having cancer.
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Hey Dad
When I was younger, I loved to yell, “Hey, Dad, what would you give me if I make this shot?” One of the biggest wagers we made was at Silver Lake.
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Essential Art
Last year we were in NYC to commemorate the twentieth anniversary of 9/11. We were with some friends who are artists. For me, art is truly the only way I can process tragedies.
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The Miraculous Soul
Probably the phrase most people associate with my Dad is, “You are a miracle.” I remember when he started to change his perspective from seeing big crowds of people with irritation to wonder and gratitude.
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God’s Mighty Ones
My husband Shann is studying angelology for a writing project. What an incredible word, angelology—the study of angels. I read that 90 percent of people believed in angels in 2011.
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Dogging Dogmatism Part 2
Yesterday, I wrote about my Dad’s response to people aggressively purporting their beliefs. Dad’s navigation of dogmatism greatly influenced me.
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Dogging Dogmatism Part 1
Dad had an expansive faith. He rooted his faith in both firm convictions and deepest wonder and awe. One of his good friends has strong opinions about faith, so absolute and dogmatic.
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Labor Day
My Dad loved hard work. He had a paper route at the age of nine. I visited Dad’s hometown this summer to watch one of our amazing directors.
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The Power of Liking
Shann and I subscribe to the Gottman Marriage minute. It’s a perfect, short reminder with simple steps to improve relationships.
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Intensity Considered
Many of you who read Words of Hope know my Dad. Maybe some of you have never met him.
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Provoked
When Dad was younger, he could easily provoke people into frustration. He loved to induce people to anger, especially on the basketball court.
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Bitterness Considered
I was rereading Dad’s Words of Hope on anxiety he wrote on April 21, 2021. He discusses lessons learned from nurse Laurie who served with Hospice for many years.
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The Wisdom of Sorrow
I recently went to a memorial, and one of the main verses was Ecclesiastes 7:2. I took time to look at this verse in various translations.
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Absent-Minded Wisdom
I was traveling through the Denver airport recently when I noticed I was drinking from a bottle that wasn’t mine.
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Love Without Return
My Dad valued people from all walks of life. He thanked and honored those many would overlook. He believed in leaving places better than when you found them. He honored janitors and housekeeping staff.
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Good Judgment
If you fly to Oklahoma City, you will see a famous quote by Will Rogers: “Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.” Dad was a phenomenal teacher of good judgment for…
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Anxiety Healed
Shann is a forgiveness researcher. I was listening to a lecture in which he enumerated the physical benefits of forgiveness— a more robust immune system, lower heart disease, lower cancer, lower autoimmune diseases, and lower anxiety, to name…
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Suffering Observed
When my Dad was ill during the last weeks of his life, he mostly lay on his back. His cancer treatment medication caused him to gain weight rapidly through the 12-plus years he was on it.
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Back to Basics
When I feel the deep ache of loss and start feeling sad about Dad being gone, I go back to the fundamentals. I go back to the basics; Dad taught: solitude and gratitude.
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Learned Contentment
Contentment has been a hard-fought lesson for me and also for Dad. He wrestled with finding contentment even in illness. I have been on a long journey as a student of contentment.
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Loneliness Observed Part 2
I met “Margo” at camp. She loved hoops and baggy shorts and had a cutting-edge fashion style. She found her mother dead when she was a very young child.
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Loneliness Observed
My grandmother grew up in a severely austere home. Her mother did not believe in affection and ruled her family with a no-nonsense mentality.
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Escaping the External Illusion
One of the helpful learning lessons Dad and I received was the conscious decision to move out of the external illusion. Consider a man named Richard Smith. His first family knew and called him Dick Smith.
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The Slippery Slope of Crisis
One February, we lost our cat, Crystal. She never came home. I was devastated. I held to the fantasy she would be found at a pet shelter. I was grieving but not attending to my sorrow.
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A beautiful death
Today is the anniversary of my Dad’s death. Our family is traveling together. Mom and Dad’s house, where he passed away, has been sold. I wanted to get out of town.
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The World Will Know
I have moved to Spokane three times in my life. It has the largest urban waterfall of any North American city—such an incredible place to live!
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Refuse Being Tragic (RBT)
Dad and Jay love the phrase POSP, which was an acronym for “P—on Self Pity.” My grandmother was very British, and I don’t love the P— word.
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Secret Sauce
One of the best skills Dad gave our family was the family meeting. Before an event, this meeting time was crucial to outline the expectations of the family and each other.
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Eyes That See the Need
Dad and I often wondered why people work and live together without knowing each other. This distance creates a supreme sense of loneliness. Proximity without intimacy. Habitation without a home.
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Love Wins
One of my favorite lines in scripture says—“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” It’s located in two passages; Dad and I memorized Psalm 20 and Psalm 37.
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Acquainted with Grief
We are approaching the one-year anniversary of my Dad’s death. I can feel the sorrow rising in me. I am quick to tears; my bones feel heavy, and my sleep is more troubled.
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Stiff Necks
Dad and I liked to take a sermon or scripture and understand it as well as we could.
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Sing Until the Miracle Comes
I keep a few old gratitude journals on my desk that I review from time to time. Today I read about an overnight trip my daughter Ari took with her class six years ago.
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Repair
Dad and I had many conversations about the attraction to cut-off relationships by not speaking to someone or vilifying others, a tendency to build up resentment. A situation recently arose between a few people I know.
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Giving Hope
I heard from two people last week that Dad’s “Words of Hope” book brought people comfort. One person gave the book to a family who lost a teenage son to suicide.
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Days of Plenty
My middle daughter, Ariana, is playing at the professional summer theatre in Coeur d’ Alene in Little Women the Musical.
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The Gift of a Good Father
My friend told me, “I didn’t have a dad like yours. He left our family through an affair and wanted to reconcile later in life.
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Life-Giving Presence
Someone asked me how I was doing with my Dad’s death. I told her, “Honestly, it is much more painful than I thought.
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Confident and Compassionate Disagreement
Shann and I recently discussed how family issues become more difficult because many fear disagreements and conflicts. We have very few examples of people navigating disputes with health and compassion.
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The Best Medicine
Shann is genuinely a happy person. He is cheerful, lighthearted, and never moody or depressed. He sings daily and is genuinely a joy to be married to.
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Condemning the Guiltless
I love listening to the Pray as You Go app. The other day one of the scriptures asked us to ponder the story of Jesus talking with the Pharisees.
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Reconciling All Things
My oldest daughter and her husband, Tim, came to town, and on our last day together, we asked, “What is one way you see the beauty of the mystery of Christ in your marriage?” One of my favorite…
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Relational Laziness
Dad worked on relationships. Scott Peck, who wrote a bestselling book, “The Road Less Travelled,” discussed how laziness, in his opinion, is the biggest obstacle to love. I see that in my life.
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Do the Difficult
I had another dream of Dad. I saw him walking with mom into the door of the church where we hold the NBC musical theatre camp.
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Love’s Discipline
Shann teaches poetry at Stanford, and our family is doing the lectures and lessons together. I can’t believe how incredible this experience has been. I have been a lousy student.
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Minor Adjustments
Dad loved unity, and he didn’t like disagreement. He also was a fierce competitor. Our family could get into heated disputes around politics, news, or even card games.
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When Problems Compound
One of the great gifts from my Dad was the discipline to write each day in a gratitude journal. At NBC Camps, we say daily habits reveal our future success.
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Admirable Faith
My dear friend Josh met Dad in Hawaii. Josh brought his daughter to camp and spent the days watching the coaches and observing. He had drifted away from God, his family, and his life purpose.
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The Anchor and the Cross
A friend of mine called me. Her daughter lost her fiancé in a devasting accident a few months before their wedding. This grief feels unbearable to me.
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Clothe Yourselves
One of my dad’s favorite scriptures was Colossians 3:12-17. It starts, “Therefore as God’s chosen people holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion… Dad loved imagining clothing himself with these intangible qualities.
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Surprised by Joy
I had been dreading Father’s Day. I woke up on Father’s Day, assuming it would be a bone-crushing day of sorrow, but it wasn’t. I left deep gratitude for my Dad and felt very close to him.
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The Highest Goals
My Dad was incredibly pragmatic. He was a genius at making complex concepts simple and easy to understand.
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The Choice of a Beautiful Life
Dad LOVED slogans—he had hundreds. One of his favorites was, “You win or lose by the way you choose.” This phrase has been on my mind each morning—a simple decision.
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Whose Job
Growing up, Dad was assigned family jobs. Mine was to haul wood to the basement every Saturday and clean up after the dog. This last task wasn’t easy.
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Proof is in the Pudding
When we ask forgiveness without change, we commit further harm. Teresa was an angry parent.
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An Elegant Question
Dad taught our family that we cheat the forgiveness asking process when we fail to resolve our conflicts or disagreements using language that does not address adequate resolution.
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Forgiveness Overload
Dad believed we nullify forgiveness and cause pain rather than healing when we ask the other to forgive too much at one time. “I cheated on you for the last twenty years.
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Great People Talk About Ideas
Our family likes meaningful conversation. Years ago, we heard the quote, great people talk about ideas, mediocre people talk about things, and small people talk about others. Wow! What a great model for daily family conversation.
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Learning to Forgive
Dad and I often talked about bitterness and the drive to live in fracture with others. It’s incredible how generational resentment perpetuates—mother cut off from daughter, father from son. Forgiveness is a challenging and noble task.
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Flooding
Dad and I loved to talk about relationships. Especially how they can be improved. He loved John Gottman and even met with him personally.
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Celebration of Life
Thank you so much for coming to the celebration of life! For those unable to attend the Fred Crowell Celebration of Life, here is the video of the event: Fred Crowell Celebration of Life Opening Welcome and prayer…
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Can You Feel the Peace?
At the celebration of life, we had a video of my Dad talking about peace and the importance of pursuing peace.
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Power Tool
Forgiveness requires discernment and wisdom for it to bring healing. Forgiveness can happen through the power of the written word, a glance, a touch, a look.
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Daily Relational Clean-up
Dad had the gift of reading the Bible and making the words immediately practical and healing. He believed Christianity should make us more like Christ–more loving, forgiving, generous, and full of joy.
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The First to Apologize is the Bravest
The ancient parable entitled “ The Wager” by some is an old tale of selfishness and refusal to change with counterparts of the same theme told worldwide. It reveals our demand to be correct.
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The Generational Journey
When I first met Shann’s father Tom, he seemed very distant. We would enter the house after having traveled far to get there, and Tom would remain on the couch and give us a two-finger greeting while continuing…
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The Forgiveness Journey- Part 2
One of my Dad’s and my favorite writers, Henri Nouwen writes, “Forgiveness is the name of love practiced among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all people love poorly.
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The Forgiveness Journey- Part One
Forgiveness is the willingness to start a journey by faith with the hope what currently feels impossible will become possible. We often drove to Edmonton, Alberta, from Spokane when Shann and I were newly married.
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Dad’s Great Gift
Of all the things my dad taught, one of my favorite and the most powerful has been forgiveness. Because of Dad’s influence, Shann became a researcher on forgiveness.
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Loving what the Beloved Loves
Shann loves loud music. He likes to feel the sound and hear the music throughout his entire body. I don’t love loud music. It is a trigger of anxious feelings in me. Dad hated loud music.
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RPE4FJC
My brother and I made some rocks to give at the Celebration of Life with the letters RPE4FJC. RPE stands for Relentless Pursuit of Excellence-one of Dad’s favorite reminders. Excellence means greatness or distinction, to tower above.
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Always
I cannot express how grateful I am that my Dad was a student of loving well. He made it his life mission to love God and love people.
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The Choice
Getting ready for the Celebration of Life was difficult and joyful. As our family gathered together to sing, we could feel the tensions and emotions rising.
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A Life of Hope
When I look back on my Dad’s Words of Hope, I am proud of the work he did, which wasn’t so much the words of hope he wrote but the words of hope he lived.
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Memorial Day
In the book of John, we have this definition of love, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lays his life down for his friends.” In this brief definition, we have the image of love involving…
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How’s Your PMA
One of the most famous lines at NBC Camps was a question Dad asked. He would ask the campers, “How’s your PMA?” They would jump up and respond, “Boy, am I enthusiastic.” PMA stands for positive mental attitude…
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Memory Palace
Dad and I loved to memorize. One of the best gifts he gave me was my passion for memorizing scripture and poetry.
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Daily Grace
I am reading Ulysses by James Joyce. Truly not the easiest read but entertaining nonetheless.
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Compelled by fear or love?
I read about a twin separated from her sister for years. Her grandmother lost her in a crowded market in Korea when she was quite young. Though her family searched for her, they never found her.
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The Psalm 1 Tree
I recently asked what is bringing someone joy lately, and he responded by learning about trees. He said with all the latest advances in forestry, so much is being learned about trees no one knew before.
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Building a Loving Home
When Shann and I had three daughters, we imagined a home full of love and joy for one another. How could we make this dream a reality?
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Revelation
I read a statement, “Zealous judgment closes us off from revelation.” This statement would have immediately caused me to pick up the phone and call my Dad.
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Celebration of Life
My Dad’s celebration of life is nearing. I look forward to honoring the life of my Dad. Dad loved parties because he loved people.
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Where Your Treasure Is
A huge table in the center of our kitchen seats twelve people comfortably. This table is the focal point of our home, a place to eat, play, and write.
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Moralism or Morality
I am reading about the form versus the formless. Dad and I discussed this often. He had a big journey in his life toward understanding this concept.
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Praying for Others
Prayer always amazes me. I can fall in love with praying and get discouraged because my prayers don’t “turn out” the way I want.
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A Barometer of Health
Dad believed one of the most telling ways for us to observe if we love well was to examine the quality of our relationships. Relationships reveal how we love one another.
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Ego Dying
One thing I have been marveling at since my father’s death is the realization of grief. I feel I am awakening into the color of grief as distinguishable from despair, loneliness, and anguish.
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Ignatian Contemplative Prayer
Our family loves Ignatian contemplative prayer. You listen to the passage and imagine yourself in the story. Recently, we experienced a prayer session together on the Good Samaritan.
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The Negative Spiral
One of my favorite times with Dad was to discuss poor coaching or poor parenting as they share similarities. Dad had incredible insights into how we contribute to the unconscious dissolution of a team or family.
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In the Beginning Was the Word
Shann taught poetry at Princeton Theological Seminary’s Center for Contemplative Leadership. He discussed the power of words. How much power does a word hold? The power to silence, to encourage, to destroy, to heal. In Ursula K.
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Retribution
Being a basketball coach, my Dad studied momentum. He analyzed how teams and coaches responded to mistakes and difficulties. He often asked, when crisis strikes, how does a family or business, or country respond?
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You said. I Believe.
CeCe Winans song Believe For It heals me. She has a bridge where she sings, “You said. I believe. You said it is done.” I love considering this. The great faith that amazed Jesus.
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Light in the darkness
We watched an evocative movie the other day. It was a modern parallel of the road to Calvary.
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People of The Lie
Ravi Zacharias, one of the greatest theologians and apologists in modern memory, had an incredible ministry by all outward appearances. Dad and I LOVED Ravi. We listened to his talks and marveled at his oratory power.
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Only Seven Seconds
Shann and Bella had a late-night this week, and I was alone in the house for the first time in a while. I sat on the couch watching the sunset.
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Atypical marriage
One quality I admire about my Dad is that he did not speak poorly or negatively about my Mom. He worked hard to root out criticism. He believed that criticism is poison to relationships.
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Ferch Church
When I was growing up, Dad made time with God something sacred, intentional, and interesting. He hated the idea of church or discussion about God being boring.
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True testimony
I celebrated Easter at my Mom and Dad’s church. It was my Mom’s first Easter without Dad.
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Unseen prayers
Mom and I met to discuss Dad’s celebration of life with a beautiful person helping coordinate the day. While there, we bumped into a long-time friend who has been on a brutal journey navigating cancer.
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Contentment Mindset
When I think about the many things Dad taught me, contentment is one of the most crucial. Contentment is the state of living where we are peaceful and, for the moment, happy.
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A Better Person
The slogan for NBC Camps is better players, better people. Dad and I talked about relentlessly pursuing excellence in life without leading to perfectionism and burnout.
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Father Kolbe
Dad and I loved to read stories of inspiring people. One day, I felt sorry for myself and justified my frustration and irritation with life.
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Heaven
I can’t fully express my gratitude for having such a fantastic Dad. He was incredible with people, and he always had time for me—how did he do this?
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Thy Will Be Done
Dad loved Easter and Good Friday. Dad loved the stations of the cross and would meditate at each spot. He especially loved the stations of the cross at the Grotto in Portland.
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He’s Alive
One of the first concerts I attended was in Birmingham, Alabama. It was Don Francisco live. My mom and Dad took me to the show. We loved his music, and my all-time favorite song was He’s Alive.
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Unafraid
My Mom and I went to tea the other day and talked about Dad. This journey of grief is new for me. I want to support my Mom but find my sorrow overwhelming me in the process.
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The Gift of Friendship
Shann has a beautiful coffee table book that just came out on Amazon in collaboration with his artist friend, Craig Hergert.
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A Novel Point of View
Dad and I loved to read. I am currently reading Graham Greene’s book, The Ministry of Fear. Greene was a masterful writer and author of one of our favorite books, called The Power and the Glory.
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Celebration of Life
Come celebrate the life of Fred Crowell founder of NBC Camps. All are welcome at Real Life Church auditorium in Post Falls. Reception directly after followed by 30min worship and solo concert.
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Heart Change or Change of Heart
I miss Dad’s amazing advice. He often had remarkable wisdom. He told me creativity is powerful work. The work, each one of us, are called to do for our lives is a gift and a calling.
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The Art of Love
Dad thought outside the box as a basketball coach and had insightful ways to keep students engaged.
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Thick Skin
Dad and I struggled with thin skin at times. We love people and want to be loved. Dad often encouraged me to have tough skin with a soft heart. I wrote down his advice.
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Start with the Necessary
Dad and I loved Francis of Assisi. He is one of my favorite people. One of the quotes I love is, “Start by doing what is necessary; then do what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”…
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Discerning the Why
I love to ask why. I spoke to Dad in person or on the phone every day, and my favorite thing was to ask him his opinion on the inner machinations of marriages, teams, and people.
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April Fools
When I was in high school, my Dad began to play April Fool’s jokes which were never quite funny to anyone but him.
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Garden
As I plan for Dad’s Celebration of Life, the person helping me organize the décor told me that because the stage is large, she imagined we could make it like a garden and asked if my Dad liked…
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The Body Remembers
One day, I was wiping down the bathroom sink. Focused and intensely absorbed in my work, I didn’t hear my oldest daughter Natalya come into the room. She came up behind me and hugged me.
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March Madness
Dad and I liked to play solitary card games while racing against each other. Our favorite was kings in the corner. These games are addictive—just one more game.
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Fear of Being Taken In
Years ago, one of our dear friends had a church interview to lead a small group, and it had a level of harshness that surprised us all.
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Prayer Sisters
Today is my middle daughter Ariana’s birthday. She has the last birthday in four weeks of March birthdays to celebrate in our family. When she was four months old, she stopped gaining weight.
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Armed and Resolute Wickedness
Dad and I loved March Madness—mainly because it was fun to coach and critique the teams. We were often negative spectators, so Shann had to put us in our place when we became too harsh or pessimistic.
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Forgiveness is Divine
I heard a woman share the gospel, and it was truly an inspired gift. She connected the oil spill image off the Gulf of Mexico in Texas, where hundreds of thousands of birds were carefully washed and cleaned…
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Hurting people hurt others
We traveled to NYC recently, and our family watched the MJ musical highlighting the life of Michael Jackson. It has been met with controversy, and some people have decided to boycott the show in protestation.
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Bright Star
My brother and I are planning my Dad’s Celebration of Life. Dad loved short phrases and slogans, so I love to call his memorial day Dad’s COL.
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Messenger
Today is my Dad’s birthday. Do I write that it would have been his 80th or that it is his 80th birthday? I will say it is Dad’s 80th birthday.
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Our Present Darkness
I am reading Czech writer Bohumil Hrabal’s novella, Too Loud a Solitude . Hrabal experienced not only the horrors of the Nazi occupation of Prague but also the dark years of communism under Soviet Russia.
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Prayer
My Dad and I loved to pray together, and I learned so much about prayer from him. I have been on a journey to understand prayer myself and find I am more in love with prayer each year.…
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Next Steps
The news of Ukraine and Russia is everywhere, with images of war, suffering, and trauma. Just watching it is unsettling to a high degree. It can overwhelm.
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Dust to Dust
I am surprised by my lethargy around the death of my Dad. It really has taken the wind out of me.
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Mapping out Trauma Triggers
Trauma triggers happen when you have had something difficult happen in your life–for example, a car wreck.
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Marriage Experts
My parents were married for 58 years, and they deeply admired and loved each other. They worked hard to root out bitterness, detachment, infidelity, and dislike.
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Tears of Christ
Watching the war in Ukraine has been devasting. The cruelty of Putin, the shocking images of destruction, the terror that feels palpable around the globe.
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Kintsugi
One of the reasons to travel to Mumbai was the opportunity to work with amazing artists to bring Kintsugi experience to social service workers, pastors, and counselors.
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Small Whisper
This was my first birthday without my Dad with me in person. Birthdays always involved dinner together with a beautiful mealtime conversation.
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Bitterness to Healing
We often drove to Edmonton, Alberta, from Spokane when Shann and I were newly married. This long road trip afforded us hours of meaningful conversation.
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Tears
In our early years of marriage, Shann rarely felt anger, never cried, never had much emotion at all. He lived with a consistently cheerful attitude. He never appeared bothered.
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Mumbai
Mumbai is a city of 28 million people. There were slums and poverty everywhere we went. People live in tin slabs with tar paper roofs and tarps on the hardened mud floors.
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Freedom
Our family traveled to India last week to work with those in severe poverty. I wore my Dad’s t-shirt – Relentless Pursuit of Excellence (one of his favorite phrases), a shirt my brother created in his honor.
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Celebration of Life
My Dad started talking about dying in the last few years. Honestly, it bugged me. I didn’t want to talk about his funeral; I didn’t want to have any of his possessions; I didn’t want to imagine my…
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Absurd or Obedient
Shann wrote the lyrics for an opera. I love to think about this. He is a poet, a researcher, a novelist, and a librettist (opera writer).
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Magnificat
Dad and I loved to talk about Mary, the mother of Jesus. When we were in the Philippines, Dad was adored everywhere he went. He and Shann were on local television. Dad was like a rock star.
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Awakening from The External Illusion
Here is an insight into conversations I would have with Dad. One of our favorite topics was how to live outside the external illusion.
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Caesura Pause
I have been thinking about my Dad’s skills and gifts that I aspire to have in my life. One skill he had was the caesura pause.
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Communion
Our family has been visiting different churches as our church of many years disbanded before Covid. We have been watching the church Natalya goes to in New York online, as well as Ariana’s church in Oklahoma.
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Spotlight
We spotlight every meal, and it can be challenging to find new and meaningful ways to spotlight others.
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Creative Learning
When I was young, Dad would make devotional times meaningful. He would grab plain white paper and put color crayons, markers, and highlighters on the table.
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Valentine’s Day Story
I met Shann at basketball camp. We have been married 31 years. Dad met Shann before I did, and he adored Shann. He loved his work ethic, his compassion, and his deep love for Christ.
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Dream Dinner
I had my first dream of my father. He was younger than I am now at my current age. We sat side by side at a beautiful banquet table.
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Better People
One of the longtime slogans at NBC Camps is the mission to be better players and better people. Dad and I discussed this often—how can we create a place for people to become better?
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Relational Bravery
Dad was an extreme extrovert. He loved to be around people. My oldest is an extreme extrovert like her papa. She is constantly with friends and spending time with others.
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Accountability
Dad had great accountability partners. One of his is also a dear friend of mine. His name is Bobby Moore. He was Dad’s pastor, his workout coach, and close friend.
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Transformation
We went to a new church nearby our house today and they were doing baptisms. One of the women shared she had been raised in an unloving home.
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Loving Father
My brother called last week. I picked up the phone and heard a choking cry. I panicked. “What’s wrong?!” I said. Jay wept hard into the phone, “I miss Dad.” We cried together for a while.
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Shooting Star
When Dad lay dying, I told him he would soon get to spend time with Sojourner Truth one of our favorite people. We never met Sojourner Truth, but we knew her story, and it changed us.
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Master Teacher
Dad was a maverick and exceptional teacher. He grasped ways to make concepts understandable way before the science of pedagogy confirmed his teaching methods.
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Next Generation
One of the verses Dad and I memorized together was Deuteronomy 4:7-9, a beautiful set of verses reminding parents to pass on what they have seen and witnessed as transformation from God to the next generations.
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Pure Joy
The book of James says, “Consider it all joy my brethren when you encounter trials of various kinds.” Some translations say to consider trials, “pure” joy.
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Weather Man
Dad would say, “Imagine an elevator. Most of us have moods and emotions which take us up and down the elevator. But some people get off and live on certain floors.
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The Book of Peace
Shann had his first dream of my Dad last week. He had been wondering when he would have one.
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Beauty over Utility
I have never loved flowers as a gift. They have always seemed to be an extravagance. I would rather Shann buy me a vacuum or a pair of shoes, something durable and useful.
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Eternal Life
Last spring, I read Dad and Mom a beautiful short story from Anthony Doer’s book, Memory Wall .
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Too Soon
I spoke to one of Dad’s lifelong friends from California. They expressed sorrow because they did not get to say goodbye in person to Dad. My dear friend from Hawaii said the same thing.
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True Self vs. False Self
One of my daily devotionals gives short segments from the writings of Henri Nouwen, a beautiful Christian author. He wrote many moving books, including Return of the Prodigal .
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Disagreement without Discord
One skill I am incredibly grateful for in my Dad is the peace he had to navigate difficult topics with wisdom and care. My Dad welcomed any topic in the home for Jay and me.
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Oyster Mouth
Dad and I both struggle with our mouths sometimes. Dad said things he should not say. I would get so frustrated with him when he would do this.
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MLK
A woman named Luska is one of NBC’s bright stars. She is brilliant and has an incredibly powerful mind.
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Honest Love
In an earlier Words of Hope, I shared a message Dad asked me to consider in the year of 2018. We had a relationship where we could ask things of each other.
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Daily Forgiveness
I met with some very lovely friends who want to create a language of forgiveness. I love this idea because forgiveness is such a misunderstood topic.
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Family of God
I drove by a snowy park bench near the Spokane River yesterday. The last time I drove by this bench, Dad, Shann, Bella, and I sat there praying together on a summer evening.
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Delight
Dad traveled many days when I was young. He went all around the PNW recruiting for NBC Camps. His journey brought him to the Cheyenne Reservation, where he met my husband, Shann.
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Struggle
I looked back on my recent WOH and several begin with the words: Dad struggled. I find it important to consider unconscious repetition. The word struggle means to trample or to wrestle.
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Surprise Journey
Dad loved surprises. We liked to take him and mom on a secret trip each year. It would be a 3-4 day trip within driving distance of our house. Dad LOVED the secret trip.
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Stone or Life
Grief is tough. My Dad tried to overcome his grief for the few years after his mom’s death, but many situations triggered his pain and anger.
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True Peace
Dad sat down with me in the New Year of 2018. He asked me to consider a few tasks for my life. I will be sharing these in the New Year as a form of inner resolution.
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Clean Heart
Dad’s nickname around the house was Norman Neat or sometimes Matt Ticulous. He loved it clean, but he also loved having people over, which caused some tension for him. I like it neat as well.
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Consider the Birds of the Air
Dad loved New Year’s Eve. He loved to clean out closets; he loved to organize and plan; he loved fresh starts. New Year’s Eve was a big event in my home.
