I am sitting in my office feeling a mixture of hope and a small sense of dread. My dad’s picture is to my right. I consider how he would like me to live right now.

I toggle so quickly between hope and anxiety. It is a rollercoaster of emotion if I don’t stop the process. It begins with a trigger such as a disappointing setback, anxiety producing news, or some banal negative situation. 

If this initial trigger isn’t thwarted or confronted, the momentum of anxiety or fear begins to build. It generates energy as the day progresses until my thinking and reacting are plagued by worry or “what if.”

The apostle Peter tells us to choose a different response. Instead of a trigger making us more on edge, he reminds us to rejoice. Was this his constant struggle? Turning back to gratitude and praise?

I tell myself this message often, only to find myself back in a hyper-vigilant or overly anxious spot. When will the next shoe drop? Can I know this in time to save myself or others pain or difficulty? 

The phrase waiting for the shoe to drop is from the 1920s when people living in apartments could hear their neighbors removing their shoes. They could hear the first shoe fall and knew the next sound would be the noise of the second shoe. 

The phrase was not initially negative but as people used the idiom, it evolved to imply impending doom or certain calamity. 

The book of Proverbs tells us not to live expecting negative outcomes and instead instructs us to seek peace and pursue it. 

I can hear my dad’s counsel, “Begin with the breath. Breathe in hope. Breathe out fear. Slow down as a rhythm, as a discipline. Speak praise and gratitude.” I turn to the blue sky and recite a few lines from some of my favorite poets. I start honoring God for a moment of thankfulness. I speak Psalm 103 slowly and aloud. This changes the sentiment. This shifts fear of the next shoe dropping as automatically negative to one of gratitude that as sure as the second shoe will fall, so is God’s goodness and love for me. 

“He who diligently seeks good finds favor but evil will come to him who searches for it.”