As human beings, we all make mistakes. Often, we unintentionally hurt those around us. While saying, “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” may provide some comfort, it doesn’t truly fix the situation.  

Mistakes happen frequently, especially during tough times. It could be something as simple as forgetting to greet a loved one warmly, using a harsh tone, missing important moments, being glued to our phones instead of being present, asking intrusive questions, or expressing frustration during challenging times.  

What one person perceives as a hurtful action might not even register for someone else. My dad was particularly good at navigating this part of relationships. He would often ask, “What am I missing and how can I help strengthen our bond?” I appreciated his openness. When I expressed my feelings, saying, “Dad, that really hurt me. Please don’t do that again,” he would respond with kindness almost every time. He would say, “Thank you for sharing that with me. I want to improve our relationship. I’m sorry for hurting you. How did that make you feel? What do you need from me?”  

Dad was quick to address any relational errors with humility and grace, preventing any lingering hurt. I am striving to adopt this approach with my daughters. I’ve found that it is far more rewarding to reach out and apologize right away rather than resist or argue about my intentions. When I do this, I can see them relax, move closer, and show me love, which is what I truly desire. I want a warm and loving relationship. Tools like blame, anger, and frustration won’t help achieve that. Instead, gratitude, active listening, repentance, taking responsibility, and compassion are the keys to navigating relational errors.

“Bear with each other and forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, forgive that person because the Lord forgave you. Even more than all this, clothe yourself in love. Love is what holds you all together in perfect unity”.  – Colossians 3:13-14

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